


Bits and Pieces

by mollieblack



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Dancing, Dimples, Drabble Collection, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Dan Howell, Jealousy, M/M, Massage, Painting, Phanfiction, Pining, SO MUCH FLUFF, Scary Movies, Sickfic, Slow Dancing, Snowball Fight, piggy back rides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-01-26 15:09:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 23,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12560156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollieblack/pseuds/mollieblack
Summary: Phan DrabblesPlease send in simple, open-ended suggestions/requests and I'll write drabbles for them!Examples:high fiveskissessitting on someone’s lapother (make a suggestion)Some chapters available in Russian thanks to unrea_liss_tic!!! https://ficbook.net/readfic/6168836





	1. Shoulder Squeezes

“Phiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllll!” Dan whined from the lounge. After several moments with no answer he repeated his cry. By the third time a sleepy and disheveled Phil stumbled into the room, glasses askew, hair a mess, and shirt riding up onto his hip as he squinted at Dan. 

“Dan what the hell are you doing yelling at 4am?” Phil asked groggily and Dan pouted, sticking his lower lip out and making his best puppy eyes. 

“My back hurts. The sofa crease is killing me. Would you pwetty pwease give me a massage?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Phil rolled his eyes, but he moved over to the couch and Dan smiled, putting his laptop down and moving forward to the edge of the cushion. Phil moved behind him, his legs on either side of Dan as he reached up and began working at Dan’s shoulders gently, undoing the tight knots worked up deep within his muscle. 

Dan smiled and sighed, relieved to have a friend like Phil. Someone who not only would get up at 4 AM to give him a shoulder massage, but someone who knew him well enough to know exactly what pressure to start out with, and when to go deeper. 

Sure enough, within moments Phil’s fingers were digging deep in his flesh, squeezing and pulling at his muscles from his neck to his shoulders to his arms to his back. Dan could feel his hands getting caught up in his tshirt and sighed, leaning forward and away from Phil for a moment. 

“One second.” Dan requested before pulling his shirt over his head and depositing it on the floor. “There. It’ll be easier now.”

“Thanks.” Phil mumbled, his voice thick with exhaustion. “Remind me why I do this?” 

“Because you’re an amazing friend.”

“Amazing Philrend.” Phil murmured and Dan couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t try to make puns in the middle of the night, Phil. They don’t work.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re lucky to get to be hearing my puns right now, Mr. I’m gonna call your name like there’s a serious emergency at a time no one should be awake.” Phil grumbled, but there was clearly no real anger behind his words. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“Love you too.” Dan murmured, leaning back into Phil’s hands and smiling. He brought his own hands up to Phil’s, stopping their kneading and pulling them around him, leaning back against Phil’s chest and sighing with his friends arms wrapped around his waist, the skin of his fingers cold against Dan’s bare stomach. 

“How did I end up with such a needy best friend?” Phil sighed and Dan chuckled, hugging his arms tighter around him. 

“You indulged my neediness, Phil. It’s a fatal mistake.”

“Well. I’m done for, then.”

“Yes… you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you request one, please leave it as simply what it is written in the description or write your own, but leave it open-ended. The fun of these is that they're open ended and I can just write and see what happens - prompts like 'Have Dan dye Phil's hair back to brown because Phil's been feeling like getting back to his normal hair and changing things up' just don't quite fit with the purpose of these drabbles. I'm sorry if that feels restrictive - just hoping that we can get some open-ended suggestions/requests :)


	2. Holding Hands

“Bloody hell, Phil, why on earth did you think the Exorcist was a good idea after filming Spooky Week?” Dan shrieks, holding a pillow in front of him for defense. 

“I thought it’d be festive! In the Halloween spirit!” Phil defends, hiding behind his own hands with his knees up to his chin. 

“If that game wasn’t fucking terrifying enough - I hope you know you’re sleeping in my bed tonight! There’s no way in hell I’m being left alone in the dark.”

“Deal.” Phil agrees and both boys hide behind their respective shields as they peer around their pillow and between their fingers to watch the show, bracing for the next scare. 

When it comes, Dan is completely unprepared and launches towards Phil, grabbing onto him as if he’s preparing to shove Phil between him and the TV to help him escape. You know what they say. You don’t have to outrun the bear...

Phil yelps as Dan connects with his side, only adding to the scare for Phil, and soon they’re both giggling and holding their hands over their hearts as they right themselves and sit back up, now much closer than before, but neither moves. 

The movie continues, and Dan doesn’t even think as a scare comes and he immediately reaches out for Phil’s hand, grasping it within his own. Phil squeezes back and they stay there, squeezing hard whenever a scare comes up. 

It’s fine - it’s understandable - it’s two friends supporting each other. When the movie ends, though, their grip doesn’t lessen. Instead Dan finds Phil’s fingers lacing through his and he smiles softly. He enjoys these bits of physical closeness that he sometimes gets with Phil. They’re not too common, but when they do happen, they make Dan feel like he’s floating. Right now is a perfect time for it, too, because if Dan wasn’t connected to Phil in some way right now, he’s pretty sure he’d be cowering in a corner, terrified of every creak and movement. 

Instead he walks to his room with Phil in hand and they lay down in bed, never letting go of their hands. They got in pyjamas before the movie so they don’t need to change, and Dan smiles as he lays next to Phil, the blue eyed man’s thumb tracing patterns on the back of Dan’s hand. 

“Thanks for staying here tonight.” Dan whispers and Phil squeezes his hand reassuringly.

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you request one, please leave it as simply what it is written in the description or write your own, but leave it open-ended. The fun of these is that they're open ended and I can just write and see what happens - prompts like 'Have Dan dye Phil's hair back to brown because Phil's been feeling like getting back to his normal hair and changing things up' just don't quite fit with the purpose of these drabbles. I'm sorry if that feels restrictive - just hoping that we can get some open-ended suggestions/requests :)


	3. Stroking Hair

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Phil whispered, holding Dan to his chest and rocking back and forth slowly. “Everything’s alright, I’m right here.” 

Dan nodded weakly into Phil’s chest, tangling his fingers in the fabric of the older man’s shirt as his tears wet a spot in the soft cotton. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I get like this.” Dan apologized weakly and Phil shook his head, bringing a hand up to the back of Dan’s head, petting his hair gently. 

“Shhhh, shhhh, don’t apologize. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Phil reassured, carding his fingers through Dan’s wavy locks, feeling the somehow rough but also soft hairs slide between the pads of his fingers. 

It took several minutes, but finally Dan’s breathing slowed and he nodded, pulling far enough away from Phil to look him in the eye, but not so far that Phil’s hands had to leave his hair and his back where they were holding him close.

“I’m okay. I’m alright... thank you.” Dan whispered, brushing his tears away as Phil smiled gently, sprawling his fingers out and then constricting them on the top of Dan’s neck, playing through the fine hairs there. 

“Of course, Dan. I’m always here for you.”

“I know.” Dan whispered, and a smile tickled his lips as he realized, as he always did when he had these late night crises, that everything was going to be alright. He had Phil... and that was all he needed.


	4. Cuddling

“So.... I guess we should get ready....” Dan mumbled with a sigh, no bone in his body wanting to get out of bed and dress up for a party that was going to be loud and obnoxious, with people shoving alcohol in his face and trying to grind against him, all the while having to pretend like he’s single and just not interested in them because of who they are. It’d be so much easier to just tell them he had a boyfriend... but that’d raise too much shit for him to deal with, so instead he just hurts their feelings and runs away to hide in a corner. 

“Yeah... we should...” Phil agreed, equally unenthused as he rolled over on his side to look at Dan, his face squished by the pillow under his cheek. 

“...Or we could just stay in...” Dan spoke finally, and Phil breathed out a huge sigh of relief, making Dan chuckle.

“Really?”

“Stay in bed all night?”

“Maybe watch a movie and eat cold leftover pizza?”

“Oh... that’s all gone actually...”

“Dan!” Phil scolded, reaching up to push Dan’s shoulder, but Dan just wrapped his arm around Phil’s waist and pulled him closer, hugging his boyfriend into his chest. 

“Are we really ditching?” he asked with a glint in his eyes and a smile on his lips.

“Yes. One hundred percent.” Phil responded with a matching grin, leaning up to peck Dan’s lips with his own. They settled back down and Dan smiled when Phil laced a leg between his, wrapping his arms around Dan’s back and Dan’s hands came up into his dark hair as he buried his face in it, kissing the top of Phil’s head lightly.

“This is why I love you.” he murmured into the blue eyed man’s hair, and when he heard the contented sigh, he squeezed Phil lovingly.

“I love you more.”

“Most!”

“Mostest!” 

“Phil you’re an absolute idiot.” Dan giggled, pulling back to look at his boyfriend who gazed up with sleepy eyes and a dopey smile.

“Well I’m an idiot who won!” Phil grinned, kissing Dan softly before resuming his nesting spot in the brunette’s chest, and they laid that way until they fell asleep. They didn’t need a party or to be surrounded by friends and booze. They just needed each other - it was all that truly mattered.


	5. Playing With Hair

“Stop fidgeting!” Dan whines as Phil shifts back and forth on his bum.

“Sorry! I thought a bee was gonna fly into my head!”

“This is why we don’t go outside, Phil.”

“Excuse me, Mr. ‘Let’s go have a picnic in the park I’m bored at home’.”

“I admit my mistake. I take full responsibility.” Dan giggles, happy that Phil’s still now, and he can continue weaving the daisies into his hair. 

Phil is sat crosslegged on their blanket in the abandoned park, while Dan is on his knees behind him, a fistful of daisies in his hand that he plucked from the grass around him, and he’s slowly weaving them into Phil’s hair, trying to make a flower crown of a sort. 

He’d make a daisy chain, but his thumbnails are too big and kept splitting the stems, so he gave up and decided on just sticking them around Phil’s hair and hoping they stay. 

“Daaaannn, these are all just gonna fall out!” Phil mopes, but Dan shakes his head with a smile.

“They will, but we can get a picture first! It’ll be worth it, trust me!” 

Phil smiles and resists the urge to shake his head at Dan, allowing himself a moment to let the blush rise to his cheeks and his features to soften in a fond smile, adoring the man behind him. These thoughts are dangerous... but honestly, how could he not in this situation?

Dan smiles to himself as his fingers work through Phil’s hair, the smooth black strands slipping through his fingers like silk as he bites his lip, imagining how beautiful Phil will look once this is finished.

It takes about twenty minutes for Dan to be satisfied, but neither of them seem to mind. They sit there and listen to the birds, feeling the warm sun on their skin as Dan’s fingers play through Phil’s hair and they hear the faint sounds of each other’s breaths.

When Dan’s finally done he moves to the front and can’t keep himself from beaming - Phil looks like a fairy, and he’s absolutely radiant and adorable. 

“Alright, give me a cute pose!” Dan instructs, pulling out his phone and opening the camera.

“Like... this?” Phil asks, tilting his head quickly to the side, and Dan barely has the chance to jerk his hand forward and bark out a quick ‘No!’ before nearly all the daisies topple out of Phil’s hair and to the blanket, forming a pile of discarded delicate white flowers. 

“I’m sorry!” Phil squeaks, raising his hands to his mouth in shock and meek apology, but Dan just giggles as he shakes his head, smiling fondly at the doofus in front of him.

“You’re impossible.” Dan grins and Phil smiles back as Dan collects the fallen daisies and moves back behind Phil, starting from the beginning.


	6. Piggy Back Rides

“Phiiiiil I’m tireedddddd...” Dan whines as they trudge up the hill to their flat.

“Well you shouldn’t have forgotten your phone and wallet at home! You said you were bringing yours so I left mine, it’s not my fault we can’t get a taxi back!” 

“But it’s such a long waaaaalkkkkkkk...” Dan grumbles and Phil sighs, shaking his head and stopping on the pavement, turning to Dan.

“Well what do you want to do? Take a break?”

“No, Phil, I don’t want to get murdered out in London in the middle of the night! We’ve just been walking so long...” both boys breathe heavily, trying to catch their breath as they look up the hill hopelessly, knowing they still have aways to go.

“Carry me?” Dan asks weakly and Phil laughs, shaking his head.

“You wish.”

“I really do. My legs feel like jello.” 

“Actually...” Phil starts, an idea springing to mind. “That might not be such a bad idea. I still have a little in me, I’ll carry you halfway so you can rest, then you carry me the rest of the way?” 

Dan looks at him for a moment like he’s crazy, but then looks back to the road ahead and sighs, nodding.

“Alright. Let’s do this.”

Phil crouches down a bit as Dan gets a two-step running start, planting his hands on Phil’s shoulders and hopping up, wrapping his legs around Phil’s waist, resting on his hips. Phil stumbles for a moment before catching himself, adjusting Dan with a little bounce, positioning his hands underneath Dan’s thighs to support him.

“You got me?”

“Yep.”

“Then let’s get home.” 

Phil begins walking and immediately Dan’s head flops down next to his. He looks over for a second to see Dan, lips parted and eyes closed in exhaustion. It’s pretty adorable and his warm breath on the side of Phil’s neck is a bit distracting, so he spends a second too long staring before he looks back and nearly falls off the edge of the pavement, yelping quietly as he veers back in the right direction. Dan barely responds and Phil chuckles, hoisting the large man on his back up once more to reposition before he continues walking.

Once he gets down a rhythm, he realizes he can find a pretty good momentum with using Dan’s weight to push them forward, and it’s easy to forget about his exhaustion when he has Dan’s breath tickling his ear and neck, his hands grasping at Phil’s chest to hold on, his legs wrapped around him. 

Eventually, though, it does become too much and Phil stops, deeming them a bit over halfway and well into the part of the journey where Dan’s supposed to carry him. He sets Dan down with a groan from the younger man, complaining and pleading that Phil just carry him the rest of the way.

“No way! We made a deal. Now bend over and let me mount you!” 

Both men pause for a second as Dan raises an eyebrow at Phil before smirking and shrugging turning around and bending down a bit for Phil to hop on.

Phil shrugs off his ill-wording and jumps up, nearly causing Dan to fall over, but they stabilize, and soon Phil’s wrapped himself entirely around Dan and has his face planted in the crook of the younger man’s neck, determined to tantalize him as much as he’d done to Phil. It probably wouldn’t have the same effect on him - he wasn’t harboring over eight years of pent up feelings - but one could only dream.

Dan himself is wheezing as he climbs up the hill, securing Phil tightly against his back and doing everything he can not to think too hard about how good it feels to have his best friend wrapped around him, to feel Phil’s lips tickle his neck and shoulder, to feel the beat of his heart through Dan’s back. 

The distraction serves him well enough, as soon they’re back at the flat and Dan’s putting Phil down, and he surprises himself when he doesn’t actually want to let go.

They walk up the stairs, moaning and groaning the whole way, and flop down on the sofa together, exhausted. 

“Never forgetting my shit again.” Dan grumbles, turning towards Phil, who turns to face him as well and chuckles.

“Yeah... well I think at least we came up with a new strategy for when we get too tired. We’ll have to use that again.”

Dan smiles, surprised at the bit of flirtiness that’s entered Phil’s tone, and suddenly he couldn’t care that his chest feels on fire and his breathing is heavy and his muscles feel like jello. All he can think is:  _That was such a lie. I’m totally ‘forgetting’ my shit next time we go out, if this is what it gets me._


	7. Leaning on Shoulders

Fantasy isn’t reality. That’s something Dan learned quickly after getting off that train station way back in 2009. Back then he’d gone through his mind a thousand times of how he and Phil’s first meeting would go. How their first kiss would happen. What their first time would be like.

Instead, Dan learned what his first heartbreak felt like.

When he met Phil at the station he was greeted with only a hug, and when Phil acted only friendly towards him he couldn’t find the courage to ask why they weren’t more. If all that flirting over Skype and text had truly been misinterpreted. So instead Dan just went along with it, hiding his disappointment and hiding his feelings. 

Now you’d think after years that someone would either get over their crush and move on, give up, or admit their feelings and either get into a relationship or cut ties entirely. 

Dan isn’t a normal someone. 

Instead he hid his feelings all these years, boxing them up. He still flirted, still fantasized, and sure he’d gotten used to Phil and Phil had gotten used to him, and those casual touches they’d occasionally share didn’t send him in nearly as big a tailspin as it did when they were younger, but he still found himself staring at the ceiling nearly every night. 

He’d stare up and first fantasize about a world where he and Phil were together, then realize he should just get over him and try to shut down those thoughts, then hopelessly come crawling back, wondering if it was even possible for Phil to like him, then decide that no, he’d have said something by now, but then, because Dan’s willpower is nonexistent, decide that maybe, just  _maybe_  Phil could like him someday, and go to sleep with the conclusion that he just had to give it a little longer.

Tonight, Dan and Phil are sitting in the lounge, watching a silly animated movie Phil’s mum recommended, and Dan is trying to keep his eyes open after the night previous his insomnia kept him up, while Phil is munching at popcorn. He’s clearly disinterested in the movie, but still paying attention so that he can give his mum his thoughts later and not have to make anything up.

Dan sighs and scoots a bit closer to Phil so he can grab a handful of popcorn, shoving it in his mouth as he munches and watches the figures bounce around on the screen, their squeaky voices giving him a bit of a headache. 

When the movie finally ends Dan thought he was going to go to bed, but when Phil pouts and begs for him to stay so they can watch a movie they actually  _want_  to watch, Dan can’t say no. He can never say no to Phil.

So he stays and they end up watching The Princess Bride, and Dan is sleepy but he laughs at the jokes and continues to steal Phil’s popcorn until Phil complains that it’s all gone and Dan gets up to make them more. When he returns Phil has paused the movie and Dan smiles, sitting close to Phil so they can share the new batch. 

Phil resumes the movie and they stare at the screen, munching their popcorn slowly. 

When it happens, Dan doesn’t even notice it at first. He’s too wrapped up in his thoughts of trying to stay awake through his exhaustion for Phil. Only for Phil. This concentration makes it so he doesn’t even notice Phil’s movement until he suddenly realizes there’s a head on his shoulder and he freezes, staring straight forward at the screen. 

All he can think at first is to thank the universe that the TV is making noise to cover the sound of his suddenly quickened breathing and the pounding of his heart. Sure, he and Phil are generally close. Sure, they hug sometimes (though not as much as Dan would like), and sure, they emotionally lean on each other, but neither has ever done anything like this.

This... doesn’t feel platonic.

Dan slowly reaches forward and grabs another handful of popcorn, chewing it carefully as he stays stone-still in hopes that Phil won’t move. Or maybe that he will. Dan doesn’t know what he wants, he just knows that he’s terrified. 

Phil on the other hand continues munching happily, Dan feeling every movement of his jaw as it opens and closes over Dan’s shoulder. When Phil hums happily and nuzzles even closer to Dan and farther into his shoulder, Dan’s body reacts automatically.

He’d like to say it’s a moment of bravery. Of courage. Of strength. But it isn’t. It’s just a knee-jerk reaction when he puts his arm around Phil, his hand resting on the older man’s shoulder as he pulls him snug against his side. 

Dan continues to stare intently at the screen, but when Phil’s arm snakes around his waist and his hand finds purchase on Dan’s hip, the brunette can’t keep the smile off his face as he relaxes, realizing that whatever this might be... he’s ready for it.


	8. Dancing

"Daaaaannnn Phiiiiiilll come onnnnnnnn!" Tyler shrieks, grabbing each of the men's hands and dragging them down onto the dance floor. "You two need to get away from the snack bar in the corner and have some FUN! Dance, dammit!" Tyler demands, shoving them at each other. 

Dan looks up to Phil and shakes his head with a sigh, chuckling as he puts his hands gently on Phil's waist, Phil's hands coming up to his neck as they begin to sway to the slow song. 

They awkwardly shuffle for a bit before Dan looks over to Tyler and raises his eyebrows as if to say;  _Are you happy now?_  

Tyler just gives him a thumbs up and Dan rolls his eyes, turning back to Phil.

The two men share a helpless look and laugh as they step slowly side to side, bodies moving around them as they step back and forth. 

Phil's cologne is strong this close and Dan can't help the shiver that runs through him at the familiar smell, closing the distance between them just the slightest as he moves his hands from Phil's hips to his lower back, grasping his own wrist so his arms are wrapped all the way around Phil. 

To adjust to their new proximity, Phil bends his elbows, now resting his elbows on Dan's shoulders, his forearms dangling behind Dan's neck. 

They sway to and fro, and Dan can't help but giggle at how Phil's hips pop out as he sways. 

"Shakira had better watch out, you're coming for her!" he giggles and Phil rolls his eyes, shaking his head. 

"Shut up." Phil protests, but there's no malice behind it. 

They continue to sway and Dan can't help but laugh at all the people who give him suggestive eyebrow wiggles, Tyler being the main culprit. 

"They're honestly ridiculous." Dan whispers eventually, leaning in close so that no one else will hear him.

"I know. Honestly do they really think that forcing two people to slow dance will make them magically fall in love?"

"People are too obsessed with their fantasies." Dan agrees, pulling Phil even closer until they're completely pressed together, hugging him tight as they sway. "Also, it's a little depressing to see so many people trying to matchmake what's already been made." he breathes into Phil's ear, and the three taps he receives on his back make him smile, tapping Phil back. 

It's a little code they made years ago. 

Three taps equals a kiss when it can't be shown. 

Dan hugs Phil tighter and drums his fingers on Phil's back, and he knows no one could count the amount of taps there, but in his mind it could never be too many.

 


	9. Painting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I read this comment: 'I'd probably read a fic about Dan and Phil watching paint dry if you wrote it', I knew I had to.

"Whose idea was it again to repaint the liveshow room?" Dan grumbles as he painstakingly rolls up and down the wall with his paint roller, nearly slipping on the tarps they'd laid down.

"Yours." Phil responds from the other wall.

"Right. And why do you listen to me again?"

"Because I'm an idiot."

"Remember that next time I suggest something that includes hours of manual labor."

"Will do."

Both men huff and sweat as they paint, but hours later they've actually managed to complete it. Dan steps back and looks at his wall, smiling. It's clean and precise, and looks almost as if a professional did it. 

When he turns around, Dan nearly screams.

"Phil!" he shrieks. "What on earth did you do?" Dan raises his hands, not even caring that they're covered in paint, into his hair and grasps at it, mouth agape as he looks at the choppy paint covering the other wall. While he'd done several coats and always painted in the same direction, Phil's gone and painted every which way, and he couldn't have done it too thick, because it's streaking everywhere. 

Dan looks to Phil who looks back at his wall and shrugs with his roller, light blue paint dripping onto the floor. 

"Well we've got to fix this." Dan states, moving to the pail to dump some more out and continue rolling.

"Um... about that..." Phil mumbles, and when Dan reaches the bucket he sees why. 

"PHIL! You used up the last of the paint? How?" Dan is panicking now, realizing that it'll take them ages to get more paint - they'd gotten the last few cans of this color from the store, and the worker had told them to be very sparing with it when they painted, because they probably wouldn't get more in for a few weeks. 

"Sorry!" Phil sputters, wincing, but Dan can see a hint of a laugh he's holding back. 

"You absolute idiot."

"Hey, maybe we can..." Phil starts, and Dan watches in confusion when Phil goes over to the slightly darker blue they used for the 'feature wall' Phil had demanded. Dan frowns as Phil reaches a normal paintbrush into the can and then actually screams when Phil takes it out, frowns contemplatively at the wall, and then swings his arm, paint flying across the wall, splattering it with dark blue specks. 

"PHIL!" Dan yells and Phil just turns to him, shrugging with a huge smile on his face.

"You have paint in your hair." the black haired man observes and Dan's jaw drops, unable to comprehend how Phil is so calm about all this.

"PHIL YOU RUINED THE WALL!" 

"No... I made it more interesting! See?" 

Dan can barely reach out to try to stop him before Phil has more darker blue paint on his brush and has swung his arm, more dots littering the wall. 

"I swear to god, Phil..." Dan starts as he watches his ex-best friend dip his brush back in, and this time when Phil comes up he has an evil glint in his eye and Dan hardly has time to throw his arms up before he's being splattered by paint. 

"Ohhhhh...." Dan half-laughs, half-snarls as he stands up straight, examining the blue spots covering his arms and clothes, feeling spots on his face. "It is ON!" 

Phil shrieks a giggle as Dan swoops forward and snags a brush, dipping it in and jumping away, flicking it towards Phil and getting spots all over him. A minute later he's bombarded by paint, and soon there's an all-out war happening. 

They giggle and slip and fall and get back up, and finally Dan has Phil pinned under him and grins as he smears a line of paint down the side of Phil's face. 

"I won." he grins and Phil sighs, breathing heavily as he lets his brush fall to the ground. 

"Fine, you won." Phil concedes, and Dan rolls off of him, chuckling. 

They lay there for a while, staring at the ceiling, before they sit up and examine the room. 

It's a mess.

But in a way... it's almost a pretty mess. 

There are lines and spots of dark blue paint contrasting the pale blue of the original walls, and it's almost artistic in a sense. Dan doesn't even realize he's smiling until he feels a poke in his cheek and looks over to see a grinning Phil.

"Your dimple had to have a spot." Phil explained, and Dan chuckled, reaching up to feel the paint Phil'd pressed into his dimple with his painty finger. 

"My dimple is its own spot." he responded and Phil laughed, looking around the room.

"I think we should do this more often." Phil decided eventually and Dan laughed, shaking his head fondly.

"Alright. Whenever we have an argument we go out, buy a new color, and have a paint war to get out our anger. Deal?" Dan asks, raising his blue hand up to Phil.

"Deal!" Phil grins, taking Dan's hand in his and they squeeze, the goopy, sticky paint squishing between their fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I think of the cover of truth bombs while writing this?


	10. Heart Eyes

_He's such a goof. Honestly, how did I manage to find the most adorable person alive and convince him to like me?_

Dan shakes his head in wonder at Phil, eyes soft and smile large as the black haired man talks excitedly to the camera, telling them of his most recent run-in with a crazy pizza delivery guy. (Yes, most recent. Meaning there'd been multiple. This one in particular had looked inside and seemed to like the place, and spent several minutes trying to find a way to get let inside to look around. As if Dan and Phil were going to give him their flat.)

When Phil's done he turns back to face Dan, his expression adorably open as he gives a small smile and Dan realizes it's his turn to talk. 

He continues shaking his head at Phil as he speaks, and he's sure the adoration is clear in his stare, but honestly he couldn't care less. 

"Honestly, Phil, I don't know how you do it. I think you have some weird crazy-person magnet aura."

"Well then what would your aura be a magnet of?" Phil asks with a smirk.

_Adorable too-good-for-me guys with bright blue eyes, negative willpower when it comes to sweets, kind hearts, and a strange ability to always attract a good story._

"Memes. Definitely. Also cat hair whenever I go to other people's houses. I wear too much black for it to be at all acceptable."

"Yeah, sorry guys, we won't be getting any cats or dogs anytime soon. If we did Dan's whole branding would have to change, he'd turn fur-colored!" 

"Fur colored?" Dan asks, squinting and laughing at Phil, his dimples popping as his eyes crinkle up. "Don't you just mean 'white'?" 

"Not all fur is white!" Phil protests and Dan rolls his eyes, but the fondness is still clear. He's smitten and the whole phandom knows it, it's not like he even works at all to hide it anymore.

"No, but it all looks white against black!"

"Well what if someone has x-ray vision?"

"Then they would see through the fur, Phil, not see it any more clearly."

"Oh... right." Phil laughs at himself and then looks over at Dan, and his heart melts at the adoring gaze of the most important man in his life, lips quirked up in a smile and eyes squinted into crescents, and for once Dan is at a loss of words. 

"I love you."

"What?" Phil's mouth opens in surprise and Dan shrugs, giggling.

"Sorry. I know we'll have to edit it out... I just had to say it."

"I love you too." Phil replies with an eye roll and chuckle, and when his tongue pokes out between his teeth Dan knows he'll never be able to hide how much he loves Phil, and to be honest, he never wants to.


	11. Pumpkin Carving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween!

“AAAAAAARRRRRGH!!!!!” Phil shouts, holding his pumpkin up and shoving it in Dan’s face. 

The brunette raises his eyebrows and examines the halfway-carved pumpkin - he can tell it’s supposed to be scary, but Phil’s cut it a bit wrong so one of the teeth is barely hanging on, and the eyeballs are pointed in different directions.

“Phil your pumpkin is as scary as a kitten.”

“Hey! I’ve seen plenty of scary kittens!”

“Oh really? Have you?” Dan asks, rolling his eyes as he smiles, continuing to carve his own pumpkin.

“I have! They bite at my fingers and make me sneeze!” Phil insists and Dan chuckles.

“Alright, Phil.”

Phil giggles and goes back to carving, and Dan’s distracted from his own pumpkin, concerned with the idea of Phil with a small saw, trying to cut through the thick skin of the pumpkin.

“Phil... don’t hurt yourself, okay?”

“I’m fine!” Phil insists and Dan sighs, shrugging.

“Alright, then.”

Dan continues carving small bats around the outsides of his main design - a gravestone with his initials shining through, when suddenly he hears a yelp and his head snaps up.

“Phil?” Dan asks, concern thick in his tone.

“I’m fine!” Phil insists, eyes wide as he seems to think for a moment and then shoves his finger in his mouth, sucking hard and scrunching his face up at the taste of raw pumpkin.

“Phil... what’d you do?” Dan asks slowly, moving towards his friend.

“Nothing!” the older man insists around his finger, the words slightly muffled by the obstruction.

“Show me your finger.”

“No!”

“Phil.”

“No!”

Dan raises his eyebrows and sighs, his hand out expectantly, and finally Phil gives in and sighs, taking his finger out of his mouth. There’s a long cut from his knuckle to the tip of his finger and Dan inspects it before leaving and returning with a band-aid. 

Phil is still and silent as Dan carefully cleans his finger and then wraps the band-aid around it, making sure it’s tight but not too tight.

“There we go. It’ll heal fast.” Dan promises, still holding Phil’s finger in his hand as he looks up to his friend.

“Thanks, Dan.”

“Now to sit on the sofa. You’re not allowed to touch another sharp object today.”

“But my pumpkin’s not finished!” Phil protests and Dan sighs, shaking his head and smiling.

“You can have mine.” he promises and he can’t help but smiling at the way Phil starts beaming, eyes crinkling and mouth opening wide in joy.

“You’re the best.”

“I know. Now shut up and let me carve you a pumpkin.”


	12. Stomach Ache

“Alright, Philly, dinner’s up come and get it!” Dan shouts, grinning as he plates up two heaping servings of stir fry and rice, happy with his creation. After several moments of silence Dan sighs and puts the food down, yelling a little louder this time, “PHIL!” 

When there’s no response Dan sighs and goes back to their room, opening the door and looking inside. Phil is curled up in a fetal position under the covers and his eyes are shut. 

“Of course.” Dan mumbles, walking up and kneeling by the edge of the bed. “Hey. Hey, Phil.” he whispers, reaching up to gently shake his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Food’s ready.” Phil groans and constricts further into himself, rolling into a small ball, caving his chin into his chest. “Come on, Phil, you don’t want to miss this one. I put in extra meat just for you.”

“Mmmmmmmmhhhhhhh...” Phil groans and Dan’s eyebrows raise, realizing suddenly that Phil’s in some sort of pain. He immediately goes into ‘mom’ mode, running over everything they’ve done in the past day or two, trying to assess the situation and any possible things that could have injured Phil without him noticing.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong? Do you have a headache? Is it the wine we drank last night? I told you you shouldn’t have had a third glass.”

“No.... ‘s my tummy...” Phil moans, his words muffled inside the ball he’s created of himself and Dan sighs, reaching up and stroking Phil’s side. 

“Do you feel nauseous?”

“No... just hurts.”

Dan’s mind is still whirring, but it stops when he realizes.  _Of course_.

“Phil! You didn’t!” he accuses and the ball on the bed squeezes tighter. “You  _did_!”

“They’re just so tempting! And one leads to another... then another... then a few more...”

“When are you gonna learn your lesson? Every single time sugar enters the threshold of this house I swear you become a bloodhound. It always ends up like this, why do you keep putting yourself through it?”

“They’re just... so fluffy.” the mutter barely reaches Dan’s ears and he can’t help but smile as he shakes his head, allowing it since Phil can’t see him. 

“Phil I swear to god, marshmallows will be the death of you.”

“Probably.”

“So that’s a no to dinner?”

At this Phil finally unrolls enough to look up at Dan with wide and apologetic blue eyes, a grimace on his face from his tummy ache. 

“I’m sorry.” Phil whimpers and Dan shakes his head, smiling.

“It’s alright. Now scoot over.” 

Phil doesn’t scoot, he instead moans about being in too much pain, so Dan rolls him over so his back is facing the brunette as he climbs in bed and wraps his arms around the curled up man, spooning him and holding him close. 

“Promise me that you’ll be better about the sweets.” Dan demands softly, knowing full well that he asks this every time and Phil always has the same response.

“I will. I swear. I’ll remember next time.” Phil mumbles and Dan chuckles breathily, because that’s the answer he always gets.


	13. Hugs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually really proud of this one - hope you like it as much as I do :D

Some people would say that suppressing romantic feelings for your best friend and flatmate for eight years would be exhausting. Ridiculous. Stupid. A recipe for disaster. Painful. Horrible. Excruciating. The list goes on.

To Phil, though, it’s fine. He honestly doesn’t mind it. He accepted long ago that he and Dan simply aren’t meant to be, and he’s made peace with that. He gets to spend his life with the man he loves in every way, and he can’t complain. 

“Well isn’t it exhausting? Always wanting to be closer to him - be physical with him, but you can’t?” People might ask. To that, Phil always says no. Because he can be physical with Dan. He can, and in the way that he enjoys the most.

Sure, kisses are nice. Sure, sex is enjoyable. But honestly, for Phil, the most fulfilling contact is a hug.

He can get over the rest of it himself - he can please himself in that way, but he can never give himself the feeling of being wrapped in someone else’s arms, pressed against their chest and held safe within them. 

This is what leaves Phil, at several points every day, walking towards Dan with outstretched arms and a pouty lip that say, “I need a hug.” And Dan always smiles and chuckles a bit, walking forward and embracing Phil, gently moving his hand up and down between Phil’s shoulder blades in a way that is so familiar and comforting to Phil, he’s not sure he can call anywhere else home.

Home is between Dan’s arms. Home is pressed against Dan’s chest, his hands locked behind the small of Dan’s back with one of Dan’s hands cupping the back of his head and the other stroking his upper back and neck, head tilted to the side so he can hear the beat of Dan’s heart. 

Home is the little sigh that Dan will let out, and the knowledge that Dan will stay there as long as Phil needs. Sometimes it’s just a few seconds, sometimes they’ll stand there and hug for minutes upon minutes. 

They’ll hug in silence, just being there for each other. Supporting each other.

So no - loving his flatmate isn’t exhausting. It isn’t horrible. It isn’t excruciating. 

It’s home.


	14. Apple Picking

“Phil why on earth did you drag me here?”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Danny! I can’t have you dying on me!” Phil responds with a laugh, plucking another green apple from its stem and tossing it in the basket slung over his elbow.

“I swear if I bite into one of these and find a worm...”

“What? What will you do?”

“I... I dunno. But you won’t like it!” Dan tries to sound as threatening and serious as he can but even he knows it’s not working and he lets out a sigh, turning back to the small tree in the orchard, heavy with apples. 

“Ooh look at this one!” 

“Phil you say that ever five-”

“No but this one’s really cool!”

Rolling his eyes, Dan walks over to Phil’s tree and looks at the apple in his hands. 

It’s an apple.

“Isn’t it so pretty?”

“Phil. It’s an apple.

“But just - look at the yellows with the green! Look at the shape of it! It’s so beautiful. Do you ever think of how crazy it is that trees grow these little fruits that get big and heavy and that taste so sweet and good?”

“Yep... it’s how the world works.”

“The world is magical.” Phil murmurs, staring at the apple, and Dan can’t help but smile a little.

As ridiculous as his best friend is, you can’t deny that the rose-colored glasses Phil sees the world through is adorable, and the childlike wonder he possesses is entrancing. 

The soft and sweet smile tickling his lips is hurriedly changed to a huff and a roll of the eyes when Phil looks back up at him, Dan brushing it off.

“You’re such a spork.”

“Yeah, but you love it.”

And when Dan turns around to return to his tree, he lets the smile return to his face.

_Yeah... I do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please send in suggestions/requests for drabbles! Just please keep them open-ended and not too specific :)  
> (i.e. picnics, fairy lights, wrapping presents, first dates, etc)


	15. Laundry

“Um... hi.” Dan says lamely, shifting from foot to foot, partially because of the cold and partially out of embarrassment. 

Honestly, how awkward can a person get? Not being able to deal with the laundry room politics so much that he has to take a cab with his clothes in a suitcase across town to his best friend’s house just to use his washer?

Yup. He can get that awkward.

So here he is, shivering in his tight windbreaker, suitcase in hand as he stands awkwardly at Phil’s door at two in the morning on a Tuesday night, a very sleepy Phil frowning at him with crooked glasses, his pyjamas riding up.

“Are you moving in?” Phil asks sleepily and Dan laughs a bit awkwardly, shuffling past Phil and into the house so they can close the door and he can start to warm up.

“No. Just have to use your washer.” Dan mumbles, walking through the house that feels more familiar than his own dorm. 

He puts his clothes in the washer and begins measuring out the soap.

_Am I moving in? Ha. Real funny, Phil. I mean... He didn’t say it like he was joking, though. He didn’t seem bothered either. Wait. Would Phil actually be okay with me living here? Could I - would I..._

Dan’s thoughts race as he starts his laundry and then eventually moves to the living room, plopping down on the couch next to where Phil has landed. 

“So why exactly are you here at two in the morning doing laundry? Doesn’t your building have a laundry room?”

“Yeah...” Dan responds, still lost in thought. A few moments pass before Phil breaks the silence again, prompting his question once more.

“So....?”

“So yeah. I’m moving in.” Dan states. He looks over to Phil to gauge his reaction, eyes wide as he dangerously hopes that Phil doesn’t laugh at him.

“Oh.” is all Phil says at first and Dan frowns, continuing to stare. “Alright.” Phil eventually settles on and Dan’s eyes widen. 

They don’t speak more of it, and soon they’re playing Mario Kart until Dan needs to transfer his laundry to the drier. He does, and then he and Phil go back to the older boy’s room, climbing into bed and shutting off the lights. They’ve shared beds the whole time they’ve known each other. It’s nice. Dan enjoys the closeness.

“You’ll move in the rest of your stuff this weekend?” Phil asks, and Dan smiles softly, somewhat disbelieving that Phil was actually serious.

“Yeah.” he whispers.

In the morning while he worries that all of that may have just been because Phil was tired to the point of deliriousness, Phil walks in as he’s making breakfast and getting ready to head back to campus for class.

“Can you pour me a bowl?” Phil asks and Dan nods, getting out a second bowl and filling them both with cereal. 

As Dan’s about to leave the house, Phil calls out to him.

“Oh! And I’ll have the second bedroom ready by Saturday morning!” 

On the whole bus ride back to school, Dan can’t keep from grinning like an idiot.


	16. Socks

“Phiiiiiil!” Dan yells from the lounge.

“What?” Phil asks, wandering into the room.

He sees immediately what the issue is and blushes, hanging his head. There’s a very annoyed Dan holding up a single sock and pointing at the coffee table. 

“Not ONLY do you need to stop leaving your socks around the flat, but stop leaving them on the goddamn COFFEE TABLE, PHIL!” Dan shrieks and Phil hangs his head lower.

“Sorry, Dan.”

“What on earth could possess someone to do something like that?”

“I don’t know! I just wander out here in the middle of the night and sit down for a while and decide to take my socks off. Then I go back to bed and forget about them!”

“And when you take them off, you just think it’s a good idea to put them on the coffee table? Honestly Phil!” Dan chastises and Phil sighs. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll try to remember.”

“Now take your sock!” Dan demands, shoving them at Phil. He takes it and walks back to his room, depositing it in his laundry basket. When he walks back out to the lounge, Dan sighs and gets up.

“Hey. Sorry if that was harsh. It’s been a long day.”

“That’s alright.” Phil says with a shrug. He understands when Dan gets angry that it’s usually not really about him. It doesn’t bother him, so he just shrugs it off. “I should be better about the socks by now anyways. It’s been years you’ve been telling me this.”

“Still, I shouldn’t yell at you.” Dan mumbles. “You get a point for this one.”

“Deal.” Phil agrees with a small grin now.

Their point system was developed years ago, and getting a point is always exciting. 

A point is something you can use anytime to get the other person to do anything you want, and they can’t say no. Over the years they’ve used them for a wide range of things, some minor, some huge.

Dan uses his points often to make Phil edit videos or send emails when he’s feeling lazy and doesn’t want to do the work. Phil generally saves his points up more, because Dan’s less likely to hand them out.

He uses his points on important things... usually. We don’t talk about the times he’s used them to steal the rest of Dan’s Pumpkin Spice Lattes because he’s finished his quick and wants more, but they’re already home.

He has used points well, though. He uses them for things like social events. Making Dan accompany him when he goes out to visit friends. Getting Dan to be in a video with him and not ask any questions, usually resulting in an excellent prank. 

There was also that one night at the bar they’d been dragged to when Phil used a point to make Dan act like his boyfriend to get the girl who wouldn’t let up to leave him alone. It’d been weird... but it’d worked, and he’d been glad he’d saved his point.

Now he has one, and he doesn’t know what to do with it, but he knows it needs to be good.

“So... what are you gonna use it for?” Dan asks awhile later. It’s the middle of the night but neither of them are tired so they’ve stayed up watching TV and chatting about nonsense. 

“I don’t know yet.”

“Aww, come on, Phil. You must at least have an idea!”

“And even if I did, what makes you think I’d tell you?” Phil asks and Dan groans, sticking his lip out in a pout. Suddenly an idea comes to Phil’s mind.

“Okay... I’m gonna use it.” he says slowly, looking carefully at Dan’s pouted lip. His eyes widen and he licks his lip, shifting nervously. 

“Yeah?” Dan asks, pulling his lip back in and frowning, clearly unsure and nervous now that he knows the point is about to be used.

“Yeah... just... close your eyes, okay?”

“Phil, what are you gonna do to me?”

“Close your eyes! It’s my point - you have to do it.” Phil insists, and Dan gives him a look before hesitantly closing his eyes. 

Smirking now that Dan’s eyes are shut, Phil leans forward, reaching a hand behind him and carefully pulling his sock off his foot. 

“I... Dan... we’ve been friends for so long...” Phil tries to make himself sound as nervous as possible. “I’m sure you must have thought of it at least once... lately I can’t seem to stop thinking about it... I just... I need to try...” he whispers, leaning in and intentionally breathing hard so his breath tickles Dan’s lips, watching as Dan’s eyebrows raise and he can tell Dan’s about to open his eyes and pull back so he does it right then, shoving his sock forward and rubbing it all over Dan’s face, giggling as he falls backwards on the couch, putting his arms and legs up in defense of the certain attack to come.

Dan does lunge forward but he relents after a few defensive kicks from Phil, and he shakes his head, throwing the sock back at the older man who now has tears of laughter streaming down his cheeks.

“God you actually had me going for a bit there.”

“I got you! I got Dan Howell with a prank!”

“You should have filmed it.”

“Next time.”

“Fuck you.” Dan mumbled, and both boys giggled as Phil put his sock back on his bare foot, curling back into the couch and starting the next episode.


	17. Lightbulbs

“How many british youtubers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?” Dan asks in exasperation as Phil steps off the ladder, collapsing on the bed. 

“Apparently more than two.” Phil responds and Dan falls down as well so they’re both staring at the ceiling, the overhead light uncovered and bulb-less as Phil turns the missing bulb in his hands. 

“I think the screw in thingy on the fixture is broken or something. Maybe just worn down. I think we need to get someone to fix it.” Phil admits sadly.

“Great. So in the meantime I’ll just live in the dark.” 

“Hey, you could always actually get some lamps in here. You know there  _are_  other forms of lighting.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dan grumbles. 

Phil looks down at the lightbulb, running his fingers over the smooth surfaces of the glass. 

“I think I’d be a good glassblower.” he decides after a few minutes and Dan raises his head off the bed to give Phil a ‘look’. 

“Are you for real?”

“What?”

“Phil I don’t trust you around a kitchen knife, much less a pole with molten-hot glass on the end!” 

“I think I’d be great at it!” Phil argues and Dan sighs, shaking his head as he lets it fall back against the mattress.

“Whatever you say, Phil. Just don’t complain to me when you get sued for burning someone’s chest off.”

They sit in silence for a while, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Dan?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you know what my first word was?”

“Yeah, Phil. It was light.”

“Yeah.” Phil responds, smiling a bit that Dan remembered that little fact about him. “Well... since neither of us seems to be able to screw this in...” Phil hops off the bed and Dan sits up, frowning after him at the lack of an explanation. 

When Phil returns with an armful of candles, Dan’s eyes widen in fear.

“Phil you’ll light the house on fire! Not to mention the clashing smells!”

“No, these are mostly unscented! And the few that are are complimentary! See? Beach wood and honey! It’ll smell great together!”

“Ugh, fine...” Dan grumbles, and Phil grins.

Soon every surface in the room has a candle lit on it and they look around, soft smiles on each of their faces.

“It’s beautiful.” Phil observes in wonder.

“Very romantic.” Dan agrees a bit jokingly. Phil yelps when he’s grabbed from behind but Dan just pulls him in for a hug from behind, swaying them gently back and forth. 

“Maybe this’ll be how we finally get together.” Dan whispers in Phil’s ear, and he can’t deny that it sends a shiver down his spine.

“It would make for a good scene.” Phil agrees slowly before turning around, wrapping his arms around Dan’s neck and leaning in to whisper in his hear.

“But not quite yet. When the time is right, Dan.” Phil breathes, pulling back and winking at the wide-eyed Dan before walking out of the room with a smirk, proud of the work he’s done today.


	18. Accidentally Adopting a Kitten

“Um.... Dan?” Phil asks sheepishly, walking out of his room with hunched shoulders and a baggy sweatshirt on, his arms within the sweatshirt instead of through the actual arm holes, so there are two floppy tubes flapping about on either side of the sweatshirt.

“What have you done?” Dan asks, immediately suspicious, sitting up straight from his browsing position on the couch.

“Well... you see...” Phil starts, squirming a bit, and Dan raises his eyebrows in confusion. Why is Phil’s sweater moving around like that? Phil must really be nervous to be wringing his hands so much together inside the clothing.

“Spit it out, then.”

“I... uh... I was walking home from Starbucks and I heard this noise...”

“Uh huh...” Dan says slowly, an eyebrow raising in anticipation.

“And so I went to the bush I heard it from...”

“Yeah...”

“And I looked in and there was... well...” Phil pauses, biting his lip.

“There was what?” Dan asks impatiently and Phil sighs, bringing his hands out of the bottom of his sweatshirt so it rides up, revealing the tiny grey striped kitten snoozing lazily in his hands. 

There’s a long silence.

Phil stares at Dan while Dan stares at the kitten and the kitten stares at the room around it, stretching and yawning, a squeak punctuating the end of the yawn.

Eventually the silence gets to be too much and Phil breaks it, pleading with Dan now.

“She was just there and she was meowing and I spent like an hour trying to find her mum but she was lost and so I brought her back here and... and... Dan can we keep her?” Phil pouts, bringing the kitten in close to his chest and petting her softly, cooing at the tiny animal.

“So that’s why you were gone so long.” Dan observes flatly, his expression unreadable. “Phil...” Dan finally starts with a sigh. “We can’t have a kitten.”

“But the landlord said a cat could be okay so long as we pay for any damages!” 

“Phil...”

“Please Dan?” Phil begs, walking up quickly and handing the kitten to Dan who takes her gently, frowning. 

“Aren’t you allergic?”

“I’ll take medication! It’ll be okay. Dan she’s so cute and she’s all alone with no family and no home!” Phil can feel his own heart breaking, and he  _needs_  to be able to keep this cat.

“Phil...” Dan says again, but he’s looking at the kitten and adjusting her into a better position, stroking her softly. She starts to purr and the sound vibrates in her chest and fills the room, Phil’s heart melting just that much more.

“What’s her name?” Dan finally asks, and Phil freezes.

“Does that mean-”

“What’s her name?” Dan repeats, still not tearing his gaze away from the sleepy grey kitten.

“Gretchen.” the name flies out of Phil’s mouth without thought and finally Dan looks up at him, eyebrows raised.

“Gretchen? Really Phil? For a kitten? Alright, well we’ll keep her, but I get to give her a name.”

“Deal.” the word whooshes out of Phil as he breathes out in relief, shooting forward to wrap Dan in his arms from the side, staring down with matching smiles at the new member of their family.


	19. First Kiss

Dan’s had many firsts in his life. 

His first lollipop - he’d been on a swingset and a teacher had given him one. He hadn’t expected how cold it’d been, and he’d gotten a brain freeze, dragging his feet in the woodchips to stop the swing’s momentum, nearly falling off as splitting pain constricted inside his head. Within seconds he was back to licking, though, a smile back on his face.

His first crush - a girl in his class who’d always worn pigtails and drew pretty pictures of birds flying over rainbows. They were colorful and happy, and even though Dan never got up the nerve to talk to her, he always admired her from afar. 

His first relationship - Sam, a boy he’d held hands with a few times and sent hearts to over text, but nothing more. They’d dated for two weeks. At the time it’d felt like everything, but a month later it was as if he’d forgotten the whole thing happened.

His first rollercoaster - he’d screamed, a grin spread wide across his cheeks as he clung desperately to the bar in front of him, wind whipping his face as he let go of all his fears, doubts, and crippling thoughts that weighed him down each and every day, and instead just let himself be taken for the ride.

His first love - Once again, this was a love from afar. A boy, Phil Lester. He was in Dan’s art class, and he didn’t draw birds flying over rainbows, but he drew bunnies and puppies running over bridges that crossed streams. His blue eyes would widen and focus as he leaned in close to his paper, the colored pencils working fast. He wasn’t the best artist in the world - but Dan loved watching him work.

His first date - With the same Phil Lester. As embarrassing as it is, Dan clearly can’t do anything for himself and his friend Louise had to ask Phil out for him. Amazingly, Phil said yes, leaving them sitting across from each other at a pizzeria, splitting a pie. Dan had thought it would have been awkward - they’d never even really talked before, but somehow it just wasn’t. They clicked... and by the end of the night Dan’s cheeks hurt from laughter.

 

But by far Dan’s best first was his first kiss. 

 

He and Phil had spent a lot of time together since their date, though things seemed to be only platonic. That’s not to say that Dan didn’t still have a massive crush on Phil - they just hadn’t spoken about it, so Dan assumed they just got along as mates, and he left it at that. He was okay with that... Phil was a wonderful friend. 

This night found them lying on their backs in Phil’s bed, staring at the ceiling and telling stories. Sleepovers had become a regular thing for the two of them, and from the very start there’d been no talk of one being shoved to the floor. They both enjoyed sharing the bed, and it made Dan feel warm inside to be so close to someone.

“I’m so tired.” Phil whispered at the ceiling and Dan chuckled, no actual sound coming out as his body shook against the bed.

“Me too. Phil, it’s three in the morning. We have school tomorrow.”

“You’re absolutely awful for me, you know that, right?” Phil asked and Dan shrugged, turning on his side to face Phil.

“Sorry.” Dan said, clearly not apologetic at all.

“Okay, well I’m gonna get some sleep.” Phil decided, turning in to face Dan as well. “Goodnight.” 

Dan smiled at Phil, but the smile dropped, replaced by a quick surprised ‘o’ face before Phil’s lips touched his. 

The kiss was short and sweet, and Phil was gone as soon as he’d leaned in. 

“Night.” Dan finally responded, eyes wide as he blinked at the smiling boy in front of him.

 

They didn’t talk about it. They didn’t need to. From then on Dan could kiss Phil whenever he pleased, and Phil could do the same. And Dan had many more firsts with Phil throughout his life.

His first time. His first house. His first dog. His first kid. And his second. And his first husband. But the best part? Phil was also his last.


	20. Kisses With Dimples

He was so beautiful. His skin, illuminated by the soft flickering glow of the scented candle on the coffee table. 

The curve of his lip, gently bowed, the bottom one between his teeth as he chewed, deep in thought. 

The little curl that hung down away from the rest, a tiny loop against his freckled forehead. 

The length of his limbs, his legs stretched out and propped up by the table, his arms wrapped around himself in his large jumper. 

His eyelashes - dark and thick, long as they fanned against his skin, framing his beautiful almond brown eyes with flecks of gold that you could only see up close. 

And his dimples, caving in as he chewed on his lip, little indents in his cheeks that somehow made him look so  _soft_.

Phil shuck glances, trying to be subtle, but he knew his gaze was lingering. How could he help himself? Dan... he was so beautiful.

When his friend looked up to meet his gaze, though, Phil looked away quickly. He knew the rules. They didn’t talk about it.

He knew he got caught staring regularly, and they didn’t talk about it. Sometimes he’d catch Dan smiling at him in a way that felt more than friendship, and they didn’t talk about it. They’d hug for a moment too long, and they didn’t talk about it. They’d make each other blush with relentless joke-flirting, and they didn’t talk about it. 

They didn’t talk about it, because way back in 2009 they’d decided that it wasn’t a good idea. It’d be too messy if they were trying to work together. 

Things had evolved throughout the years and sometimes Phil wondered if they should revisit the conversation, but no... because they didn’t talk about it. 

Dan looked up at Phil and let his lip go from between his teeth, smiling gently, the glow of the candle shining against the wetness of his lip. Something about him looked almost shy as he blinked and looked down then back up at Phil, a soft flush coming to his cheeks. 

“Hi.” Phil breathed, gazing into Dan’s eyes, wishing that for once they  _could_  talk about it. Because he wanted it. He’d wanted it for so long. 

“Hey.” Dan responded, and Phil smiled when Dan reached out his arms. Phil moved forward on the couch and into them, hugging him tightly. When he pulled away he stayed close and Dan’s hands moved from his back to his waist as Phil’s hands stayed up on Dan’s shoulders. 

“I-” Phil started, but he was cut off when Dan leaned in with a soft smile, connecting their lips gently. 

Dan paused there, their lips brushing, allowing Phil to make the next move. Phil didn’t even know what he was thinking, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face as it spread across his lips, doing his best to kiss Dan back, but mostly just smiling into his mouth. 

Soon both boys were giggling and kissing, and Dan’s hands held Phil close by his waist as Phil’s came to his cheeks. His fingers cupped Dan’s jawline as his thumbs stroked over Dan’s cheeks, and, as if they’d been carved to fit there, slotted perfectly into the dimples created by the smile spread across Dan’s mouth. 

And they did talk about it. 

And they decided they’d never not talk about something again.

And now Phil has everything he could have ever wished for, because any time, any day, anywhere, he can walk up to Dan and press a kiss to his cheek and he knows that dimple will appear with the smile Dan will give him.


	21. Accidental Kisses

“Phil oh my god you have green stuff all over you!” Dan laughed, reaching forward and beginning to pick bits of green plastic from Phil’s shoulders where it’d fallen from the golfing hats. 

“These hats are  _hat_ zerdous!” Phil grinned at the camera and Dan rolled his eyes, continuing to pick bits off of Phil. 

“I think mine is falling off. We’re a mess.” Dan giggled, moving his hands up to Phil’s hair and beginning to pick out pieces, leaning in a bit closer to see the plastic interspersed with Phil’s straight black hair. 

“This whole game’s a mess.” Phil agreed with a chuckle.

“This whole channel’s a mess. Actually... my whole career is a mess.” Dan snorted, leaning in even closer, now just a few inches away from Phil’s face as he picked the green shit out of his friend’s hair. 

He shifted forward, looking up at Phil’s hair as his friend looked down a bit so they weren’t directly face to face. The shift forward caused Dan’s hat to slip even farther back, the flag on top of it weighing it down. Just as it began to actually fall Phil’s head snapped up, seeing it, and he lunged forward to try to grab it before it fell off Dan’s head.

The result was... unexpected.

As Phil lunged forward suddenly, Dan instinctively looked down to his face to see what was happening. Already being so close and with the trajectory of Phil’s movement and Dan’s shift to look at him, Phil’s face crashed into his and their noses bumped painfully, their lips smashing together in grimaces. 

“PHIL!” Dan yelped, pulling back.

There was a moment of silence where both men stared at each other, and then slowly, so incredibly comically it hurt, the silence was broken by the hat sliding off the back of Dan’s head and falling onto the floor.

“Sorry!” Phil squeaked finally, his cheeks positively crimson. 

“I swear to god, Phil. You are the clumsiest person alive.”

Both men left the situation behind them and moved on, finishing the video. Things were fine. 

Later that night they were editing, Dan controlling the computer as Phil watched over his shoulder. When they got to the accidental face-smash, Dan froze. He felt Phil freeze next to him too, but when the tension was broken by Phil suddenly bursting into laughter, Dan couldn’t help but join.

“Well.” Phil spurted through his laughter. “I guess the phandom’s wishes came true!” 

“What, do you think we should leave it in? Make it a blooper at the end?”

“God, imagine what would happen.”

“We’d beat Kim K for breaking the internet.”

“Maybe we’d better not.” Phil chortled, clutching his stomach with laughter. 

“No... but we’re definitely keeping this. It’s a moment to be recorded.”

“For sure.” Phil agreed, and the video didn’t get edited that night, because neither man could stop guffawing as they replayed the awkward scene over, and over, and over.


	22. Pillow Fight

“Phiiiiilllll, but I edited the last one!” Dan whines, rolling over in bed and pouting his lip out at his boyfriend. 

“But you promised you’d do this one because I had to respond to all those emails!” Phil shots back, and Dan rolls his eyes. 

“I’m so cozyyyyy though!” Dan drawls, scooting closer and wrapping his arms around Phil’s side, bringing his leg over Phil’s waist, nuzzling into his neck. “It’s nice and warm here.”

“Wow, Dan. Good plan. Trap the guy you’re trying to convince to get up and go do  _your_  work. Flawless.”

“Shut up!” Dan giggles, pushing Phil lightly.

“Make me!” Phil shoots back, a glint to his eye.

“Phil. You know any time anyone says ‘make me’ it automatically makes things sexual, right?”

“So... what if I’m trying to make things sexual?” Phil asks with a wink and a wiggle and Dan rolls his eyes, breathing out a laugh.

“You’re impossible.” Dan grumbles, smiling up at Phil. Suddenly he sees the telltale plotting look behind Phil’s eyes - Phil swears he doesn’t change at all and Dan must just be able to read minds, but Dan knows there’s a very particular expression Phil gets when he’s about to prank Dan. Now he just needs to figure out what Phil’s about to do.

He realizes only a moment before it happens, and by then it’s too late to do anything about it. In one quick motion Phil grabs a pillow from the bed and swings it around, connecting hard with the side of Dan’s head. 

“Oh no you didn’t!” Dan grins, snatching his own pillow.

“Whacha gonna do about it, mate?” Phil challenges in a thick Northern accent. 

Soon both men are giggling as they whack each other with pillows, getting up on their knees and swinging then dodging each other’s attacks. 

Eventually Dan has had enough and pushes full force into Phil, knocking him backwards and climbing over him. He pries Phil’s pillow from his fingers and throws it across the room, pinning Phil’s wrists to the mattress with his hands. 

“Ha.” he smiles, securing Phil’s hips with his legs as the older man struggles once more beneath him, then goes still in defeat. 

“Fineeee.... you win.” Phil concedes with a sigh.

Dan grins, leaning down and pressing his lips to Phil’s lightly. They kiss and once Dan feels his boyfriend soften beneath him he removes his grip on Phil’s wrists, knowing exactly what will happen. 

Sure enough, Phil’s hands come up to his cheeks and Dan smiles. Poor Phil. He’s too predictable for his own good. 

Dan kisses Phil back, deepening it as much as he can, trying to lull Phil into a false sense of security until... 

 _THWACK_!

Dan giggles at Phil’s yelp as he pulls away just in time to swing the pillow he grabbed around and into Phil’s face. 

Almost immediately he’s discarded the weapon and is back, pressing Phil into the bed and kissing him.

“Not fair. You distracted me.” Phil whines between kisses.

“You loved it.” Dan smiles into Phil’s mouth.

“I did. And...” Phil sighs, putting light pressure on Dan’s shoulder to make him back up, breaking their kiss. “I want to do it more... but that video really needs to get edited.”

“Hey! I won the pillow fight!” 

“Yeah, but you cheated!”

“No I didn’t!” 

“Uh huh!”

This goes on for several minutes, but in the end, as always, Dan ends up editing the video. He knows he’s far too whipped, but ultimately he can’t find it in himself to care when he’s sat in front of his computer, getting to watch the love of his life sneak little glances at him, making cute faces to the camera, and being altogether an adorable and unaware idiot.

Honestly... He really doesn’t mind editing at all.


	23. Edit It Out

“What the hell are you doing, Dil? Do you see this? How can one man break so many plates?” Phil asks in amazement, turning to Dan after a few moments with no response. “Dan?” he asks, furrowing his brow in confusion at the way Dan’s unashamedly staring at him, his bottom lip between his teeth. 

“Pause the game.”

“What?”

“Pause the game.” Dan says again, with more necessity this time. Phil does, confused, and the minute the screen is frozen Dan gets out of his chair and has Phil’s face between his hands, kissing him hard. 

He takes the arms of Phil’s chair and rolls it backwards as they kiss, until the seat bumps into the couch. 

Pulling Phil out of his chair with their lips never coming disconnected, Dan lowers them both onto the couch, climbing on top of Phil and kissing him, hard. 

“What...” Phil mumbles against Dan’s lips, struggling to keep up. “What’s this for?”

“You did that thing.” Dan whispers, back, his breath tantalizing on Phil’s lips.

“What thing?”

“The swallow thing. Where your adams apple goes up and down.” Dan responds, his lips now moving against Phil’s neck as the older man moans softly, arching his toes up at the sensation.

“I’m just that irresistible?” Phil laughs breathily, and Dan comes back over him, eyes dark and serious.

“Yes.”

Dan swoops back down and their lips are together again but Phil can’t help but laugh into the kiss, effectively killing the moment and leaving Dan pulling back and sitting up over Phil, pouting down at his boyfriend.

“Why are you laughing at me?”

“Well... A, you’re adorable... and B, you  _really_  need to get some more self control. We’re still filming, you know.”

“Good.” Dan whispers, coming back down for another kiss. “We can re-watch it later.”

“You’re lucky this isn’t live.”

“Thank god.” Dan responds, his voice raspy. 

“Alright, alright.” Phil mumbles after a few more allowed kisses, pushing Dan away gently. “I love you, but we need to finish this video and the fans will probably already pick up on my blush and suddenly messy hair... we don’t need to make it even worse.”

Dan groans then sighs, leaning down for one final peck before reluctantly getting off Phil and helping him back to his feet.

“We can make the ending short, though?” Dan asks once they sit down and Phil looks over, a glint in his eyes as they crinkle into a smile.

“Extremely.” 

Five minutes later when they’ve finished filming, turned the camera off, and made their way to the bedroom, Phil finds himself laughing once more.

“Honestly am I  _that_  un-sexy today?” Dan asks with a pout and Phil shakes his head, still giggling.

“No... no... it’s just...” he gasps, covering his mouth with his hand.

“What?” Dan asks, and Phil leans up to peck his nose.

“There’s gonna be a lot to edit out of that one. And guess whose turn it is to edit!” 

The groan Dan lets out at that easily tops any others made throughout the rest of their night.


	24. Warm Sweaters

“How do you always look so cozy?” Phil asks one day when Dan strolls into the lounge, his oversized sweater draping over him. The sleeves are so long that only the tips of Dan’s fingers peek out of them, grabbing and twisting the fabric around to make little bundles. The sweater goes low, hanging below Dan’s hips, a bit askew so it’s farther down on one side. The neck of the sweater is wide and it’s also skewed to the side, showing off one collarbone as Dan’s curly hair makes a soft puff atop his head.

“What do you mean?” Dan asks, sitting down next to Phil who feels confined and stuck in his high collared tshirt with a video game logo. His hair has been straightened down into its fringe, and his contacts are making his eyes itch today.

“I dunno. You just look cozy. I want to be cozy.”

“Okay...” Dan starts, clearly confused as he raises an eyebrow at Phil. “Do you need my help?”

“Do you think you could?” Phil asks, feeling helpless asking for such a simple favor, but not even knowing where to start. It’s a chilly day leading into winter and he just wants to curl up and feel like he could melt. 

“Okay...” Dan starts, squinting as he appraises Phil, looking him up and down. “Go to the bathroom and take your contacts out. Put your glasses on.” Phil nods and gets up, heading towards the bathroom. “Oh! And bring back a comb!” 

Phil gives Dan a thumbs up over his shoulder before heading into the bathroom and gently taking his contacts out one by one, putting them back in their cases.

Ahhh, that feels so much better. He slips his glasses on and snags a comb from the drawer, heading back to the lounge. 

When he gets there, Dan has a few sweaters laying out. One is his Yeezy one, making Phil cringe at it’s resemblance to a potato sack. No... he’s not going to be wearing that one. Another is black on the top and grey on the bottom, and something about the material just looks a little too heavy for Phil and not quite soft enough...

When he sees the third sweater he knows he’s found the winner. It’s a new one of Dan’s, all black and it’s fuzzy. It’s so soft and Phil immediately bundles it up, smiling as he presses it to his face. 

“I’ve worn that once this week and haven’t washed it - I hope you don’t mind.” Dan warns and Phil shrugs, handing Dan the comb and taking off his shirt, slipping into the sweater, and humming in contentment as he bundles his fists in the too-long sleeves, bringing them up to his chin. 

“It’s perfect.” he smiles, and Dan smiles back. 

“Alright...” Dan starts, walking up closer. He raises the comb and begins to comb through Phil’s hair, Phil wincing here and there because his hair is a bit tangly. Once Dan has worked out the knots, he brings the comb underneath Phil’s fringe and combs it up. Phil looks up, a small smile coming to his face when he realizes Dan’s styling him into a quiff.

The feeling of air on the right side of his forehead feels foreign and Phil shuts his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Dan combing and styling his hair as he plays with the fuzzy sweater sleeves, enjoying how the bottom of the sweater goes well beneath his hips and bum. It’s almost like a really short dress. 

Once Dan finally seems content with his work he puts down the comb and Phil smiles, hugging himself. 

“Feel cozier now?” Dan asks, and Phil nods vigorously.

“I feel like a walking cloud! A black fuzzy cloud!”

“I’m glad.” Dan laughs, shaking his head, and suddenly Phil’s eyes go wide.

“You know what we still need?” he asks excitedly, and Dan looks up, a question in his eyes.

Ten minutes later finds the two men curled up on the couch, sipping their steaming hot cocoas with little marshmallows floating around in them. 

Dan pulls out his phone and they take a selfie with their drinks, and Phil’s hair is in a quiff and he’s wearing glasses and in all black and you can see that the sleeves of the sweater are too long because only the tips of his fingers poke out to grip his mug of cocoa, but he looks happy and warm and his eyes are shining. 

“I like this.” Phil sighs, leaning back on the couch, and Dan smiles over at him, warmth in his gaze.

“Me too.”


	25. First 'I Love You'

He wanted to say it so badly. 

They’d been together for two weeks now, but really... when you consider how long they’d liked each other before... how long they’d known each other... it wasn’t too fast to say it yet... was it?

The last two weeks had been a torrent of awkward and obvious substitutes.

“Dan...” Phil would say between the kisses that made Dan’s heart stutter. “I really, really like you.”

“I really, really like you too.” Dan would respond, planting a kiss on Phil’s nose and grinning at the way his boyfriend’s face would scrunch up. 

_His boyfriend._

He was still somewhat in disbelief that he could call Phil that now... after eight long years of wishing... Phil was finally his boyfriend.

There were other ways they’d try to say it, too.

“I like you so much...” Dan would whisper as he reached up to tuck Phil’s hair behind his ear, bringing his hand down to rest on the bare shoulder above Dan’s duvet. Phil had spent the past two weeks sleeping there too, and Dan never wanted it to go back.

“I like you more.” Phil would smile, eyes still closed in adorable sleepiness.

“Most.”

“Mostest.” Phil would finally open his eyes, pulling Dan close and kissing him before nesting him into Phil’s chest where Dan would listen to his heartbeat and become overwhelmed with emotion, unable to tell if he was ecstatic about the change in their relationship or heartbroken over still not hearing that one special word.

Today Dan has been trying to work up the nerve all day. He planned a whole date for them, but at the last moment he chickened out, interrupting his own stumbled attempts at that terrifying sentence by kissing Phil and then insisting what he was going to say wasn’t important. 

Now they’re sitting in bed, watching TV on Dan’s laptop. Dan is sat behind Phil with his legs spread in a V shape, and Phil is between them, leaning back so he rests against Dan’s chest. Dan’s arms are around Phil, his fingers lacing with his boyfriend’s. His thumbs draw patterns over Phil’s and Phil’s hair tickles his nose as he plants gentle kisses into his hair, but Dan doesn’t mind. 

He can’t imagine ever minding.

Eventually they finish an episode and Phil sighs, reaching forward and shutting the laptop. 

“Time for sleep.” Phil mumbles and Dan nods into his hair, not budging an inch.

“Dan... you need to let go so I can move.” Phil laughs after a moment and Dan nods once again into Phil’s hair, but once again doesn’t make any move to get up. In fact he raises his knees and squeezes in lightly, trapping Phil even more.

“You’re such an idiot.” Phil sighs eventually, shaking his head and letting out a breathy chuckle. 

“And you can’t get enough of it.” Dan mumbles into the soft black strands, smiling gently.

“True. It  _is_  what made me fall in love with you.” Phil says gently and Dan smiles, humming into Phil’s hair. 

That is, until he suddenly realizes what Phil’s just said and freezes, his thumb stilling its patterns that it has been working into Phil’s skin for hours. 

“You....” Dan starts, his mind suddenly working a mile a minute. “You... love me?”

There’s a long pause before Phil cranes his neck to the side, looking up to see Dan from his awkward angle. 

“Is that a problem?” Phil asks, blue eyes wide, and Dan can’t help the smile that takes over his face until he’s beaming, flipping Phil over so they’re facing each other now and taking his boyfriend’s face in his hands, putting their foreheads together as he smiles so hard his cheeks hurt.

“Never.” Dan whispers and then they’re kissing and he can  _feel_  the love they have for each other, and he knows... he just  _knows_  it’s not one that will ever fade.

“Dan?” Phil finally asks once they’ve pulled apart, a small smirk on his face.

“What?” Dan asks, breathless and giggly.

“Are you really just gonna leave me high and dry?”

“Huh?” Dan frowns for a second before realizing and facepalming, looking up at Phil guiltily. 

“Oh my god! Phil! I love you too! Sorry!”

“As I said... Idiot.” Phil chuckled, and Dan knew he’d never love anyone as much as he loved the man in front of him.


	26. Rain

Most people hate rain. They use it as an example of sadness. Of depression. It’s something people run from, hide from, invent things to protect them from. 

Phil is not most people.

Maybe it’s because he’s had so many incredible moments in the rain.

Being seven years old, splashing through the rain with his best friend of the time, Mary, splashing in puddles with his bright green rain boots. 

At thirteen years old, going on a run through the rain with his friends, giggling and splashing, getting soaked to the bone and not caring a bit. 

Fifteen, lying on his back in the grass, letting rain pour down on him, smiling at the warm and wet drops that showered his face after Suzie from his class had asked him on a date, moments before - in the rain.

Eighteen, running and skipping through the rain after getting his first positive comment on his first ever video on the site ‘YouTube’. 

Twenty Two, walking through the rain and bumping shoulders with his friend Dan who had just gotten off the train. Phil couldn’t keep the smile off his face and neither could Dan. The younger boy seemed embarrassed that his hair was curling as it got drenched by the large drops but Phil didn’t mind - it was kind of cute and he giggled as he ruffled Dan’s hair, the brunette protesting and shoving back, but all the while laughing along.

Twenty four, carrying he and Dan’s things into their new Manchester apartment from the street, laughing and staring up at the sky as droplets hit their faces, making loud drumming noises on the cardboard boxes as they brought them to the front door of the building.

Twenty five, skipping back to the apartment after he and Dan’s first ever radio show, grinning ear to ear as they enthused over how they think this whole thing might actually work.

Twenty eight, laughing at how soaked they were getting at their outdoor meet up, watching all their fans pull up hoods and umbrellas to protect them from the rain as Dan and Phil signed copies of the new book they’d just released. Phil looked over to Dan after one book and smiled as Dan smiled back. “We did this.” Dan said amazedly, and Phil beamed back, nodding. They did.

Twenty nine, standing outside with Dan, arms stretched out as they let the rain fall on them, welcoming the cool shower after their stage show. It washed the sweat from them and gave them the energy that had been drained from doing the show, and when Dan opened his arms Phil was quick to go into them, hugging Dan close as he grinned ear to ear. A full live stage show. Just another thing he and Dan did. 

And thirty, arms wrapped around himself as he shivered, getting drenched as the rain relentlessly poured on him. “Dan! Come on!” he shouted back at the taxi they’d gotten out of. Sure Dan was paying and it’d take a second more for him to get out, but this was getting ridiculous. When Dan did get out, though, Phil’s anger faded at how nervous his friend looked. Dan was pale and his hands were visibly shaking as he walked up to Phil. “Dan... what’s-” Phil started, but he was interrupted when hands came to his hips, pulling him flush against Dan’s chest and their lips were together. Dan’s were still warm from the car, a sharp contrast to the cold of Phil’s lips, nearly blue as he tried (and failed) to keep his teeth from chattering. Still, he kissed back, wrapping his arms around Dan’s neck as the younger man slowly became just as soaked as he was. The world seemed to come to a stop as they kissed on the pavement, and Phil was in disbelief, but mostly just because he never dared to hope that this was something that would ever actually happen for him. But it was. Dan’s lips went tight as they tugged into a smile, and warm breath shocked Phil’s lips as a small laugh escaped Dan. They slowly pulled away, but only an inch or so, still wrapped in each other’s arms. Phil began shivering again and Dan smiled down, then hugged him tight, Phil’s chin coming to rest on the cool, slippery, and wet surface of the rain jacket atop Dan’s shoulder.

Yeah... he liked the rain.


	27. Baking

“Phil.”

“What?”

“Phil. It’s three am.”

“Yeah?” 

“It’s three in the morning and you’re making cookies?”

Phil shrugs, lifting a cookie dough-covered spoon up to his mouth and licking, a smile coming to his face.

“Aaand now you’ll get food poisoning from the raw eggs. Brilliant.” Dan mumbles, rubbing his eyes in confusion and amazement.”

“Nope! It says right on the package! You can eat it as you go!” Phil grins, shoving the packaging towards Dan. He takes a look at it and realizes Phil was right. 

“And exactly how much of this do you think is actually going to end up getting baked, then?” Dan asks and Phil blushes, looking back down into the bowl.

“Well... maybe like four cookies?”

Dan’s eyes go wide and he looks back down at the package, reading quickly until he finds what he was looking for. 

“Phil! This makes twenty two cookies!”

“Yeah?” Phil squeaks, hiding behind his spoon.

“You’ve eaten eighteen cookies worth of cookie dough?” Dan nearly shrieks in disbelief, and Phil slowly inches around the side of his spoon, looking guilty.

“I wanted something sweet!”

“You literally have no willpower.” Dan sighs, and Phil lets his spoon drop back into the bowl, walking forward and putting his hands lightly on Dan’s waist.

“Hey, that’s not such a bad thing. I swear you’re incapable of taking initiative - if it weren’t for my lack of willpower who knows how long it would have taken for us to get together! Maybe we’d still be acting like we’re just friends!” 

Dan sighs once more, a small smile gracing his lips as he begrudgingly brings his hands up to Phil’s chest, swaying back and forth slowly.

“Fine. Maybe it’s a good thing.” Dan says with an eye roll, but he smiles as he leans in and presses his lips to Phil’s. 

They taste like cookie dough.


	28. Earrings

“Daniel James Howell have I just stepped back into 2014?” Phil asks, a huge grin on his face as he steps close to his friend, bringing his hands up.

“Shut up!” Dan blushes, stepping back, but Phil doesn’t let that stop him. He continues forward until his hands are on Dan’s ears, rolling the smooth stud earrings between his fingers. 

“It’s been ages since I’ve seen these!” 

“I was feeling nostalgic, okay?”

“Are you gonna straighten your hair and start talking about llamas and placenta too?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Dan giggles, pulling away. 

“Sorry I hurt your feelings. Oh here! I know what’ll make it better! Just gotta make a shop run to get you some Malteasers!” 

“You’re an asshole.”

“And you’re wearing earrings!” Phil exclaims, the grin still plastered across his face.

“What? Do you not like them?”

“No, I like them! It’s just been a while.”

“Do you think I should keep them?” Dan asks, looking a bit nervous. Phil softens here, realizing his friend really does feel apprehensive about trying the jewelry back on.

“I think you should do whatever you want. You look amazing, with or without the earrings.”

“Thanks.” Dan mumbles, looking down with a soft blush creeping up his neck.

“What? Can’t take a compliment?”

“Why are you being such an ass?” Dan looks up, but Phil can see the smile he’s trying to contain.

So Phil does the only thing he can think to do. Stepping forward and reaching his hands up, Phil’s eyes go wide. He pinches Dan’s earlobes between his fingers and makes a surprised face before yelling “BOOP!” then running away, racing across the apartment. 

He hides behind a chair and watches as Dan walks into the room, shaking his head and laughing.

“Phil you’re such an idiot.” his friend giggles and Phil smiles, because he’s done what he set out to do. He made Dan stop worrying.


	29. Coming Out (To Audience)

“You sure?” Dan asks, biting his lip excitedly.

“Yeah. Alright, you spell check mine and I’ll spell check yours, I swear if we get a typo this is going to be the worst reveal of all time.” Phil nervously laughs, the stress of the build up making beads of sweat gather on his temples. 

“Okay... Yep. Yours looks good.” 

“Yours too.” Phil agrees, and they move back to their own laptops.

“Alright, you ready?” Dan asks once more, reaching his hand out to hold Phil’s.

Phil grips Dan’s hand and squeezes, smiling at the way Dan’s fingers glide over the ring he’s refused to wear until this day, just in case of a slip with him forgetting to take it off.

He’ll be ecstatic not to have to leave the gorgeous band that represents so much in a little box beside their bed... getting to wear it each and every day now.

“Okay... in three...” Phil counts.

“Two...” Dan responds, an excited and nervous twinkle in his eye as he smiles apprehensively at Phil.

“One!” Phil shouts and then they click their mouses, pulling their hands back and staring wide-eyed at their screens.

It only takes a few moments for the replies to start flooding in, and Phil’s eyes go wide.

“Hey... what do you say we put these down for an hour or so... let people react and then we can come back in a bit?” Dan asks and Phil nods, slamming his laptop shut, his entire body alive with nerves.

“I love you.” He murmurs into Dan’s chest once he’s pulled into his arms, hugging him tight.

“I love you more.”

They planned to wait an hour, but in reality they only lasted seven and a half minutes before checking back in, and when they did relief whooshed out of them as they read through the ecstatic and supportive comments.

Of course people wanted more - a video, a livestream, a documentary. But of course, Dan and Phil had done this exactly how they wanted.

Phil smiled, Dan’s hand in his still rubbing the metal band gently as they both stared at Phil’s laptop screen, and their two new screen names.

Daniel Howell-Lester

 Phil Howell-Lester


	30. Platonic Body Worship

“Phil... what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.”

“That’s a lie and we both know it. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” Phil insisted, biting his lip. Dan frowned, crossing his arms to show he wasn’t going to give up. “I just...” his frown grew as he looked down at his computer screen and Dan made his way over, sitting beside Phil and looking at the tumblr page he had brought up.

“What’s wrong with it?” Dan asked, seeing the ‘Dan and Phil’ tag up on his screen, mostly just pictures or gifs of one or the both of them. 

“Look at it.” Phil sighed eventually pulling up the notes on a gifset of Dan to show how many people had commented. 

Dan looked through the comments. They were all sweet, complimenting Dan’s appearance. It was flattering... but nothing new from this type of post. 

“So?” he asked finally, raising his eyebrows at Phil.

“Well look at this one.” Phil mumbled, moving to a gifset of just him. He opened it up, and there wasn’t a single comment. “They’re all like this.”

“Phil...” Dan started, but Phil cut him off.

“No. Don’t try to make it seem like something it isn’t. Even in ones with both of us...” Phil scrolled to one with both on the screen and pulled up the notes. Dan scrolled through them, and his stomach sank when he realized that, yes, nearly all were about him.

They all were calling him things from ‘beautiful’ to ‘sexy’ to ‘gorgeous’. There were a few commenting on Phil, but all of them said things like ‘cute’, and ‘adorable’.  

“I get...” Phil started, his voice a bit shaky as he closed his laptop and moved it away. “I get that you’re more attractive than me.”

“Phil...”

“No. Don’t. It’s true. You’re better looking than me and I understand that... I’ve accepted it... but still, it hurts sometimes. It’s hard to look at. Especially... I don’t know. I’ve just been feeling kind of insecure lately.”

"Phil... I don’t know what to say. You’re beautiful. And I’m not just saying that to make you feel better... you really are.” Dan insisted, but Phil brushed him off with a shrug, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

“I dunno. I’ve just been feeling kind of gross lately. I realized the other day... Dan, I haven’t dated in so long. I just haven’t had time. It’s been so long since anyone’s really... touched me. Not like... not like  _that_ , but just... I don’t think I’ve even hugged anyone in months.”

Dan paused for a moment, frowning as he listened to his best friend. 

“Come here.” he finally spoke, scooting a bit closer to Phil and opening his arms.

“What?” Phil asked, looking up in surprise.

“Come here.” Dan insisted, gesturing for Phil to hug him.

“Dan... I’m not telling you this for you to feel bad for me. I don’t need sympathy.”

“And I’m not doing this because I feel bad for you.” Dan argued, letting his hands drop to the couch, but still open and ready to embrace his friend. “I’m doing this because I love you and you deserve to know just how beautiful you are to me. You’re my best friend and when you’re hurting I’m hurting.” 

Phil looked conflicted for a moment before he finally gave in, sighing and moving into Dan’s arms. They hugged for a long time, Dan gently rubbing his back. 

He put everything he had into that hug - feeling the way Phil’s sides came together in an indent at his spine, brushing over his shoulder blades and the small of his back, pressing his nose into Phil’s shoulder as he pulled them together. 

“You’re beautiful.” he insisted, pulling back slightly and bringing his hands up to cup Phil’s face. “Your eyes are some of the most gorgeous and piercing things I’ve ever seen. Your nose is sharp and strong and your lips...” Dan brought his thumb down to brush over them lightly. “They make this heart shape and they quirk up into a beautiful smile. 

“Phil, your smile lights up the room. Your cheeks scrunch up and your head falls back, and when you do that it’s honestly gorgeous. Your hair...” Dan brought his hand up now, brushing Phil’s hair lightly off his forehead and into a quiff. “It’s fine and soft and falls so perfectly. You know I’ve always been jealous of it.” he laughed a little, but made sure he let the warmth he felt towards his friend shine through his eyes to show Phil just how sincere he was. 

“Your adam’s apple...” Dan’s thumb moved from Phil’s cheek down to his neck, hovering over the bump on his throat as Phil gulped and it moved up and down, making them both giggle a little. “It’s so prominent and honestly, Phil, it’s sexy as hell.”

Phil raised an eyebrow and Dan shrugged, laughing. 

“What? It is. Phil I know you probably don’t like how often people call you ‘cute’, but trust me, I’ve seen plenty of compilations, and people  _know_  you can be sexy. 

Phil blushed and looked down, but Dan lifted his chin back up with his hand, smiling. “Your cheekbones could cut paper, and your shoulders are wide and strong. The freckles on your arms are honestly adorable, along with the ones on your back, even though I know you don’t usually let people see those.”

Dan pulled back now to take Phil’s full body in with his gaze. 

“And goddamn, Phil, those legs?” 

Phil laughed, blushing as Dan raised his eyebrows at Phil suggestively. 

“They go for miles. Trust me, they’re pretty spectacular. And don’t tell me I need to go into detail about your ass - we both know your hips don’t lie and you have a great ass, that’s all that needs to be said.” 

Dan giggled as Phil blushed and nodded, pridefully accepting the compliment. Dan chuckled because he  _knew_  Phil was proud of his ass, and was glad his friend had admitted it. 

“So I don’t care what those people say.” Dan murmured, indicating the computer with a nod of his head. “You’re beautiful, and gorgeous, and sexy.” He insisted, moving back in for a hug. “And if you ever forget it again, I’m right here to remind you.”


	31. Playing Footsie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys I am SO sorry I've been absent lately. With the holidays and travel and finals coming up, I'm just not able to write as much as I usually can. I'll still do my best to get content out, but it's gonna be more sparse in the lead up to finals :\

The first time I felt something slide against the inside of my ankle and up my calf partway, I thought it was an accident. I didn’t react, figuring whoever had done it was embarrassed, having thought it was a table leg or something. I simply nodded and remained engrossed in the story Louise was telling next to me, loud over the din of the restaurant. I didn’t even look around the table to see if anyone had reacted.

The second time the foot came, this time pausing against my ankle for a moment before sliding upward, the toe catching the edge of my skinny jeans and hiking them up a bit before snapping back down, I looked up in surprise. Dan was across from me and the most likely culprit, but he was staring intently at PJ sat next to him, the new storyteller. 

The third time, my head snapped up to Dan the instant I felt a brush against my ankle. He still didn’t respond, but looking around it didn’t seem as if anyone else could have been doing it. I frowned, pulling my legs back and hooking my ankles under my chair. My suspicions of it being Dan were confirmed when he coughed and casually slid down a bit in his chair. To anyone else it would seem he was just trying to get more comfortable, but when I felt his foot back on my ankle, his leg stretched under the table to reach me, I raised my eyebrows. Still he didn’t look back or acknowledge me, instead slowly running his foot up the inside of my calf, then back down, bumping my foot playfully. 

I kicked my foot lightly, trying to ward him off, but Dan must have seen this as an acceptance of the game, and only fought back harder. I could see the smile he was trying to hide, now, his lips in a tight line to try to act normal as we warred under the table. I was grinning, ignoring the conversation at the table and staring at Dan, trying my best to take control of the invisible war down below. 

We fought and fought, and eventually it was becoming hard to keep it subtle. I was holding onto the table’s edge to keep myself upright, biting my lower lip in concentration with a challenging grin on my face. Dan still hadn’t looked at me but I could see him shifting in his seat each time he tried a new move. 

Finally, in some incredible maneuver, I ended up with both his feet between my ankles, trapping them tightly. He finally looked at me and glared, while I let my lip release from my teeth and smiled, eyes sparkling with my victory. It wasn’t until several moments after that that I realized the conversation had ceased at our table, strangely silent in the middle of the bustling restaurant, and Louise and PJ were staring at us with raised eyebrows. 

“What?” I giggled, still a bit high off my victory. 

“You two need to get a room.” PJ mumbled, not looking at us as he spun his fork around on his plate.

“Honestly. Either you’ve been lying to us all this time, or you two really are just torturing yourselves waiting this long to admit it.” Louise added, sending us both pointed looks.

I frowned and opened my mouth to protest, letting Dan’s feet go. 

“Guys, we’re just friends.” Dan grumbled and I nodded, looking to him to show him my support in the statement. We always leaned on each other whenever people doubted our friendship.

“Friends who can’t keep their eyes, hands, or apparently  _feet_  off each other.” PJ mumbled once again. 

After this the subject was dropped, and through the end of the meal Dan's and my feet didn’t touch again. 

It wasn’t until we returned home and plopped on the couch, Dan sitting against one side as I sat on the other, facing each other as our feet came up and we pressed against each other, warring and using the armrests as backrests, that Dan suddenly stopped. My feet flew forward, not having expected the sudden halt in resistance, and I fell flat on the couch, my legs splaying around Dan. 

I scrambled up to a seated position and raised my eyebrows. 

“What happened?” I asked, my forehead crinkling in a frown. 

“Nothing.... I just...” Dan trailed off, looking down at his toes which he wiggled in his socks absently, seemingly trying to think of how to word what he wanted to say. “I guess... Phil? Do you think maybe they were right?”

“Right about what?” I asked, not following his train of thought.

“Right about... you know. Us making things harder for ourselves... not being as happy as we could be... just because we’re too scared to actually say or do anything to change... us?” Dan mumbled. He still wasn’t looking at me, his toes spreading and curling with nerves. 

I frowned, staring at him in confusion for a few moments, until finally his meaning hit me.

What?

_What?_

_WHAT?_

My mouth dropped open. I tried to shut it a few times, but it just kept opening back up, making me look I’m sure like a fish floundering for air. My eyebrows must have been up to my hairline as I tried to process what Dan was saying, my entire world flipped upside down.

Did he mean it? Was Dan, my best friend, the man I shared my life with, the most important person in my world, the man who gave me flutters each time he smiled at me... Was he really saying that after all these years of letting me think he could never love me... that he actually could? 

Wouldn’t he have said something sooner? With all the talk of us being together from our fans... if he’d wanted that it surely would have come up sooner... right? 

Though I suppose I’d known my feelings years ago, and I’d been too afraid. Why should it be different for him?

I snapped back into reality suddenly, mouth snapping shut as I realized Dan was now finally looking at me, bottom lip between his teeth as he worried it, clearly upset that I was taking so long to respond to such a huge question.

“Dan, I...”

“Sorry. Sorry, that was stupid. Can we just pretend I never said anything?” Dan stammered, putting his face in his hands and curling his knees tight to his chest. 

“No... Dan...”

“I’m sorry. I can give you some space if you need it. I didn’t mean to- I don’t want to- I really value your friendship, Phil, I never want to lose that.”

“Dan...”

“If I ruined everything I understand... but just... please know that I never had any ulterior motives... I really meant everything I did, and I just did it because I love spending time with you...”

“ _Dan_...”

“I’m not saying I love you! I mean... of course I love you... but I’m not  _in_  love with you. God... I’m so sorry.”

“ _DAN_!” I finally shouted, grabbing his wrists and forcing him to look at me, his eyes slightly watery as he breathed heavy, fear clear in his expression. 

Slowly, so slowly I almost felt as if I wasn’t moving, I brought Dan’s hands up to my cheeks and let them rest there, moving mine down to his shoulders. Dan gulped as he looked between my eyes, seemingly searching for answers as his lips parted in shock and suspense. 

I didn’t make him wait there long, leaning in slowly to connect our lips. They only stayed that way for a minute before I pulled back, and now I was the one to flit my gaze between his eyes, biting my lip.

“Well that’s too bad.” I whispered and he frowned, eyebrows pulling together.

“What?”

“It’s too bad that you’re not in love with me.”

“Why?” Dan whispered, and I smiled gently, the corner of my mouth just slightly twitching up.

“Because unrequited love sucks.”

It took a moment for my meaning to sink in, and I relished in every minute, the smile that broke out across Dan’s face as he finally understood making me smile, and we were kissing, but it was more like laughing.

I did manage to make out the mumbled words between our lips and through our laughter, though, as he said the words that made my heart pitter-patter so hard I thought I might faint.

“Well I lied. I’m in love with you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: mollieblackwrites


	32. Jealous

Dan and Phil were friends. That was it. Despite all the theories, constant shipping, and unbreakable bond, they were just friends. And Dan was perfectly fine with it.

Their friendship was perfect just the way it was, thank you very much, and he didn't want a thing to change. 

Dan was thinking about this, a stubborn line formed on his lips as he scrolled through phan theories on tumblr, when Phil walked into the room, gaze trained on his phone screen.

"Hey." Phil murmured without looking up, making his way to the sofa and sitting beside Dan.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Eh, nothing really." Phil muttered, but the way he was biting his lip as he stared intently at his screen gave away his lie. 

"Come on, Phil, what's going on?" Dan asked, shoving his laptop aside and grinning, a hint of playfulness coming to his tone as he tried to get the information out of his friend.

"It's nothing, really. Just... the barista at Starbucks... you know, the girl with the lip ring? Well last time I went she asked me for my number, and now she's texting me and asking me on a date."

"You gave her your number?" Dan asked, completely shocked. This was entirely unlike Phil. Phil never even  _flirted_ with people, much less gave out his number. And to that girl? She wasn't even pretty!

"Yeah, you know me, you know I have a hard time saying no to people."

"But Phil - now she thinks you like her!" 

"Yeah..." Phil mumbled, and Dan's mind raced. Could Phil actually like her? What if he got together with her? In all the time they'd lived together, Phil had never gone out on so much as a single date. What would change? Would he move out? Would they stop being Dan and Phil?

"So are you gonna go on the date or not?" Dan asked flatly, frowning as he sat back on the couch, crossing his arms in annoyance.

"...No..." Phil started, looking up at Dan finally and raising an eyebrow. Dan couldn't focus on that, though, only having room for the relief that flooded over him like a tsunami. Thank god. They weren't going to go out on a date. Phil wasn't going to run off and get married and leave him behind. "Dan..." Phil continued and the brunette looked up, suddenly defensive.

"What?"

"Are you... were you... jealous?" Phil asked, and Dan could see that his friend was trying to maintain a straight face as Dan's blood began to rush, making his face heat up.

"No! What do you mean? Of course not! I just don't think she's all that pretty is all. And you don't even know her. And-"

"Dan." Phil stopped him, and Dan blushed when he saw his best friend start to giggle.

"What?" he asked defensively, tightening his arms around himself. 

"You're so clueless." Phil giggled. Dan frowned, searching his mind for a retort, but his mind was entirely shut off, going blank, as Phil's face was suddenly rushing towards him and then their noses were smashing together painfully and Phil's lips were on his, then gone as soon as they'd arrived and Phil was laughing once more, his phone discarded to the side as he covered his mouth with his hands. "Oh my god if you could see your face right now!" Phil laughed, then seemed to have an idea and reached for his phone, opening it up and pointing it at Dan.

Dan didn't have the brainpower to deal with that, though, bringing his fingers up to brush his lips where Phil's had just been. 

"Phil... you... kissed me?" he asked, eyebrows pulling together.

"Yes, that _is_ what it's called when someone puts their mouth on yours, Dan."

"But... why?"

"Because you're an idiot and couldn't figure out your own emotions if they hit you in the face. So I hit you in the face instead. With my face."

Phil was laughing louder now but Dan was still confused and he grabbed Phil's phone, putting it to the side.

"Wait..." he mumbled, grabbing Phil's shoulders and pulling him lightly towards Dan. "Let me..." Dan carefully slotted their lips together, kissing Phil properly now, and his entire world flipped as his stomach did, his heart racing suddenly. He pulled away after a moment and stared at Phil in shock, mouth agape.

"Yes?" Phil chuckled, his tongue poking out from between his teeth.

"How are you being so nonchalant about all this? This is huge!" Dan exclaimed, holding Phil's shoulders tighter for emphasis.

"Sorry, I can't help it. You're cute when you get jealous."

Phil leaned in and kissed Dan once more, and once again, his mind went blank, enjoying the way they moved together, humming appreciatively into Phil's lips.

When they separated and Phil pulled him in for a hug, Dan's mind worked on overdrive, his chin resting on Phil's shoulder.

The silence stretched out, only to be broken a few minutes later. 

"And hey! I wasn't jealous!"

"Sure, Dan."


	33. Sick

"Daaaaaaaaaannn!" 

Dan heard the whine come from Phil's room and rolled his eyes, his lips in a small smile as he huffed and moved his laptop off his legs, pushing himself off the couch. Honestly, why their fans thought  _he_ was the needy one was beyond him. Sure, maybe day to day, but whenever Phil got so much as a cough he became an overgrown baby and needed Dan for  _everything._

"Whaddya need, you lump?" Dan asked with a chuckle, leaning against Phil's doorframe. To be fair, the man in the bed looked pretty pitiful. He had the duvet pulled up to his chin and he was even paler than normal, his eyes a bit unfocused behind his glasses, and his hair pushed back in a messy quiff.

"I'm thirsty."

"I'll get you some water."

"Nooo Daaaaaaaaannnn!" Phil whined and Dan rolled his eyes once more.

"Phil I'm not giving you ribena." Dan scolded and Phil pouted his lower lip out, batting his eyelashes.

"No! Absolutely not! I'll make you some tea and bring you a glass of water."

"You're the worst."

"Love you too!" Dan cooed, and then he was gone. He went to the kitchen and started the tea, deciding to heat up some of last night's chicken noodle soup, too. When he returned Phil was asleep and he carefully set down the drinks and soup. A small, thoughtful smile crossed his face as he reached down, gently brushing some of Phil's matted hair off his forehead. The man's chapped pink lips were parted and his jaw was slack, and Dan couldn't help how his heart ached for his best friend's suffering, even though it  _was_ just a normal cold.

When he turned to leave a faint voice stopped him.

"Don't leave?" Phil breathed, as if it took all the effort in the world to get those two words out. Dan stopped, contemplating for a second, but he knew there was no way he could say no to Phil. Especially not in this state, and especially not when it meant staying with him. So Dan turned back into the room and went to the other side of the bed, lifting the covers and climbing in. 

"You should eat some of your soup." Dan murmured and Phil's eyebrows pulled together, eyes still closed. "Phil... you need to eat. And I made you tea and got you water, too. You said you were thirsty."

"Dont wanna get up." Phil mumbled, forehead still scrunched in pain.

"Alright, buddy, up we go!" Dan sighed, wrapping his hands under Phil's arms and lifting him up, leaning him against the headboard despite Phil's disgruntled groan.

Reaching around the sick man, Dan took ahold of the bowl of soup and brought it in front of him, getting a small spoonful of soup in it, but not enough to spill over.

"Here comes the aeroplane!" Dan joked, and he only got a small 'look' from Phil before those chapped lips were opening and Phil was taking the soup from the spoon into his mouth, chewing a few times and then swallowing. They repeated this process six more times, and then Phil frowned and shook his head, looking at the soup.

"No more. 'M full."

"Alright. drink some water, though?" Dan asked and Phil sighed, nodding as he grabbed his water glass and took a few sips.

"Can I sleep now?" Phil pouted and Dan smiled, nodding. Phil gave him a weak smile in return, putting the water back down along with his glasses, and turned to face Dan. His eyes were glassy as he shuffled forward in the bed and wrapped his arms around Dan's neck, pulling him close. Dan froze for a second, not used to this kind of physical affection from Phil. He was sick, though, and needy, and not thinking about his actions. And Dan could never say no to Phil so he just relaxed, holding him close and trying to ignore the beating of his own heart. 

They sank down on the bed and Dan was sure Phil was asleep, watching his features for signs of discomfort. He really _was_ worried about his friend, even though he knew his sickness wasn't serious and would pass within days.

"I know I'm beautiful, but stop staring." Phil mumbled, shocking Dan and making him flush bright red. Phil just smiled slightly, and eyes still closed, leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dan's. 

Dan didn't know how to react at first, but when Phil hummed in appreciation and went in for another kiss, Dan's lips parted on instinct and his hands came up to the back of Phil's head, guiding him through the kiss. 

After a few moments of warm, sleepy kissing, Phil hummed once more, smiling as he pulled away, and then moved down on the bed to press his ear against Dan's chest, hugging him tight. Within minutes he was snoring, leaving a very confused and shocked Dan to stare at the wall, one thumb absently brushing Phil's shoulder back and forth as he tried to comprehend what had just happened.

* * *

"Phiiiiillllllllll!" Dan called from their room and Phil rolled his eyes, grinning. He made his way there and went up to the miserable lump on the bed. Honestly, Dan got so needy and whiny when he was sick. It was ridiculous. 

"What do you want?" Phil chuckled, and Dan pouted out his bottom lip. 

"Cuddles?" Dan asked in a small voice and Phil shook his head, laughing softly.

"I don't want to get sick again!" he protested.

"Hey, you're the one who gave this to me! Now you have to do what I want!"

Smiling and shaking his head, Phil sighed as he climbed in next to Dan, giving in. He wrapped his arms around the sick boy and pulled him to his chest, pressing his lips to Dan's hair. 

"No kisses, though. We're not playing 'sick ping pong'."

"That's okay." Dan agreed with a hum, clearly already nearly asleep as he nestled into Phil's chest, and the blue eyed man smiled. Sure, the last week had been a haze of medicine, soup, tea, and coughs, but he had to thank that haze. Without it he would never have kissed Dan, and he'd never be holding him now in his arms, cuddled up in  _their_ bed in  _their_ room, smiling as his  _boyfriend_ pushed his leg to nestle between Phil's, pressing a gentle kiss to the black haired man's neck. 

Sure, being delirious sucked. But sometimes you need just a bit of deliriousness to give you the courage to do something that'll change your life.

 

 


	34. Sharing Clothes

“Phil why are you wearing my shirt?” Dan asked, frowning as Phil stumbled into the lounge, groggily rubbing sleep from his eyes.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Why are you wearing my shirt?”

 

“Wait… this is yours?” Phil asked, frowning as he looked down, holding the shirt out from his body with his hands for a better view.

 

“Yes it’s mine, you spork!” 

 

“Well… whose sweater is that you’re wearing?” Phil retorted and Dan looked down, realizing suddenly that he was wearing Phil’s old sweater that had somehow been adopted into his wardrobe years ago and never talked about.

 

“Okay… well how about that sock? I’ve been wondering where it’s been for ages! You could at least take both and have the pair, but no - you just leave me with tons of single-socks missing their pairs! I should raid your drawer, I’m sure I’d come out with at least five of my missing pairs.”

 

“Alright… well what about those boxers?” Dan raised his eyebrows in surprise, looking down and realizing that not only were his boxers visible, his sweats hanging low enough to show a thick stripe of them, but it was true, they  _ were  _ a pair of Phil’s.

 

They stopped for a moment, and then Dan burst into laughter, shaking his head.

 

“Honestly why do we even try? We might as well just combine wardrobes.” He chuckled, and Phil giggled too, coming to sit next to Dan. 

 

“Nah, I don’t think I could handle so much black in my closet.”

 

“That’s fair. Well… you can keep my shirt and sock if I can keep this sweater and these boxers. They’re cozy.”

 

“It’s a deal.” Phil grinned, and Dan smiled back as they curled up on the couch, turning on an anime to start the day off right.


	35. Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!

Dan sighed, smiling gently as he laid back on the bed in his family’s house. It’d been a good day. It started with presents, then a long day of movies and hot cocoa until they had a big dinner. It had been December 25th, and it’d been a wonderful time with family… but it wasn’t Christmas.

 

Dan couldn’t wait for Christmas - this year it was going to be on the 27th. Just two days and he and Phil would be curled up in a blanket at home, sharing warm drinks by the fireplace as they recounted their year. 

 

He would laugh as Phil’s eyes bugged out in excitement at his gifts from Dan, and he would torture Phil by unwrapping his slowly to save the paper, while Phil hit his arm and begged him to open it faster.

 

Phil would eat too much candy and end up passed out with a stomach ache while Dan lounged in his pyjamas, staring at the wrapping paper that would litter the floor.

 

Phil would love his gifts and he would shower Dan with face kisses and Dan would giggle, hugging him close. They’d sit by the tree and cuddle and Dan would press his lips gently against Phil’s, and they’d know, this was  _ their  _ Christmas.

  
So yes, it’d been a wonderful day and he loved seeing his family. And yes, it was December 25th. But it wasn’t Christmas yet. He couldn’t wait for the  _ real  _ Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This drabble was based around my first phan art I've ever made (and the first chibi drawing I've ever done!)
> 
> The piece of art is dedicated to Amber/Just+Another+Fangirl, and you can find it here :)  
> https://mollieblackwrites.tumblr.com/post/168932977415/my-first-ever-phan-art-and-first-ever-chibi-art


	36. New Years

New Years. He would do it. He had to. And this time he'd made sure he'd actually do it.

For years it'd been a sad joke of a tradition for Phil to promise himself that this year he  _would_ kiss Dan and tell him how he felt at midnight. That no matter the consequences - no matter his fear - he would do it, and it'd change everything - in what way he didn't know yet.

Every year he'd backed down. 

This year, though, was going to be different. Because this year he'd told his friends. He'd finally caved and admitted to a group of girls - Bryony, Wirrow, Louise, and Hazel that he was planning to kiss Dan at midnight. Bryony had already known about his crush after she'd forced the information out of him one drunken night two years ago, but the other three girls were shocked and there were several minutes before they calmed down and were able to help him plan. Not that there was much to plan - it was mostly just convincing him it was a good idea and giving their support.

Now it was New Years Eve and he was at a party at Louise's house, sitting next to Dan and pretending not to notice the looks the four girls kept sending his way. They sat in the corner and chatted, sipping on light drinks and munching on crisps. It was a little after eleven, and Phil's pulse was already racing. 

Dan looked a bit distracted and Phil's heart sank, nerves setting in. Dan didn't seem to want to be there with him - maybe this was all a mistake. Why would he risk everything just on the off chance that his feelings were returned? Phil's concerns were confirmed in his mind when at eleven thirty Dan made a lame excuse of needing the bathroom, getting up and walking in the opposite direction of the restroom. 

Phil sat there, dejected, giving Hazel a sad shrug at the raised eyebrows she sent his way. 

At eleven forty five, Phil was actually beginning to get a bit worried. He'd sent Dan a text five minutes ago with no answer, so he pushed off the couch and walked in the direction Dan had wandered earlier. He weaved through people chatting until he finally made it to the back porch. There were a few people out there, but they were all picking up their things and getting ready to go back in and count down the new year. Phil spotted Dan leaning on the railing, looking out into the woods.

"What are you doing out here?" Phil asked as he walked up next to Dan, copying his position and staring out into the woods. "Trying to give yourself a heart attack? Trees  _and_ the dark? Isn't this some kind of nightmare for you?" he joked, trying to lighten the mood which was darker than he understood. A flash of black humor crossed Dan's features and he rolled his eyes, sighing with a shrug as he looked down at his drink.

"Yeah. A real nightmare." 

"Dan... is everything okay?" Phil asked, turning to face his friend who just shrugged, still refusing to look up from his glass. 

"I suppose."

"Dan..."

"Just feeling off. I'm fine. Really." Dan finally looked up, a forced smile crossing his lips but not touching his eyes before he sighed and looked back down to his drink, swirling it around in the glass before throwing it back. He chugged the last few gulps to Phil's surprise then sat it down on the railing, his fingers still gripping it.

"Is it the whole new years thing?" Phil asked and Dan laughed, shaking his head.

"No. No, I don't give a crap about what day it is. Nothing like that."

"Then what?"

"I don't know, Phil. I'm just feeling off. Can that just be okay?"

"Okay..." Phil muttered, but his mind was whirling. "It's... it's not me... is it?" 

"It's about to be you if you keep on asking me about it." Phil knew Dan's tone was meant to be joking but his words struck home and Phil flinched, turning back to the woods and peering down at his drink before copying Dan and chugging it. He'd had more left than his friend and when his head tilted back down and he set down the glass he felt a warm fuzz rush up his neck into his head, making him dizzy for a second. 

"Jesus, Phil. Careful." Dan scolded and Phil frowned.

"You did the same."

"Yeah but I had less. And I can hold my liquor. You're such a lightweight, Phil, and you've already had one drink what were you thinking?"

Phil frowned, realizing Dan was right. Each of the drinks had three or four shots in them, and now he'd just downed a second one. Usually it only took him three to five to get plastered. What on earth had he been thinking?

The combination of the alcohol quickly making its way to his brain and Dan's last comment before he drank got to him, and ten minutes later when they heard the faint countdown through the walls of the house, Dan had his arm around Phil as they sat on the stairs and Phil sobbed into his hands. Dan was asking him what was wrong and he was just shaking his head, crying harder.

The "Happy New Year!" shout came from inside, only making Phil's body rack harder with sobs. He should be kissing Dan. His lips should be on Dan's, not dug into the heel of his palms as he bit down on his skin, trying to muffle the sound of his tears. Fireworks went off and Phil just cried harder as Dan pulled him close to his side, rubbing his arm comfortingly. Phil's head was spinning and when he moved it his vision blurred. He didn't want to be drunk. He wasn't supposed to be drunk. God dammit, he'd been determined to get it right this year and he'd fucked up  _again._

Dan ended up taking him home soon after, tucking Phil into bed carefully and wishing him a goodnight. Phil was still crying softly and Dan's face looked conflicted, but Phil's brain couldn't comprehend why. He was thankful, though, that Dan forced him to drink three full glasses of water and left him with another on his nightstand. Hopefully tomorrow he wouldn't have a hangover.

All wishes aren't granted, and when Phil woke up with a splitting headache he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut once more. The next time he woke up was to the smell of bacon. His eyes opened, squinting at the light pouring into his room. Luckily there was a figure blocking the harshest light from the hall, and when Dan walked in and closed the door behind him, leaving the room in relative darkness again, Phil realized what he was carrying.

"Oh my god thank you." Phil whispered, seeing the cup of coffee, bottle of advil, and plate of bacon, eggs, and toast in Dan's hands. 

He allowed himself to be taken care of, and once he was situated and had taken his advil, Dan left and returned with his own plate and mug of coffee. He climbed in next to Phil in the bed and they ate. Phil apologized for the night before and Dan brushed it off with a shrug. 

"No, really. You weren't having a good night and I just went and made it worse."

"Phil... you really didn't."

"No. I should have been there for you, and I wasn't. I was a mess."

"Phil..."

"I'm a shit friend." Phil saw Dan flinch a bit at his swear and sighed down at his eggs. "I'm sorry."

"Phil." Dan repeated, a bit firmer this time, causing Phil to finally look up and meet his gaze. "You didn't ruin my night. You made it better. I..." Dan took a deep breath and looked down at his own plate. "I was in a bad mood because I had this whole idea... of how the night was gonna go. But once we were there I realized how many people there were and none of it felt right and I just sort of... shut down. You coming out and giving me something to do - letting me take care of you - it helped. Promise."

Phil smiled a bit sadly, nodding. "Okay. If you say so."

"I do."

A long silence stretched between them before Phil re-thought what Dan had said and frowned. "Dan... what was your idea of how the night was going to go?"

"I..." Dan mumbled, refusing to meet Phil's gaze. "I don't know. I just... it was New Years Eve, Phil."

"...And?" Phil asked, a flicker of hope beginning to spark in his stomach.

"And... it was New Years Eve. I was hoping... I dunno. I was hoping midnight would be... special. But I realized that it wouldn't be right... with all those people there. It didn't feel right."

"What wouldn't be right?" Phil pressed, and he watched as Dan looked up at him and seemed to think something over before sucking in a sharp breath.

"Ah, fuck it." Dan mumbled. Phil raised his eyebrows as Dan's hand came up to cup his jaw. "Is this okay?" Dan breathed and Phil nodded quickly. Both boys smiled and a moment later they were kissing - but it wasn't really a kiss because it was all teeth and giggles and they had to pull away soon because they were laughing too hard. "Phil!" Dan shrieked accusingly. "What the hell was that?"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I don't know what's so funny!" 

"Our first kiss and it's not even a real kiss?" Dan scoffed and Phil shrugged, laughing. 

"Well... we can always try again." He suggested slyly, and a moment later they were kissing. The smiles were still there but they were softer this time and their lips moved together gently. Eventually Phil turned a bit to be at a better angle and flinched away when he heard a clatter. Looking down, Phil's eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open as he saw eggs and bacon littering his duvet. The plate had fallen off his legs when he had moved and Phil face-planted in Dan's shoulder, laughing in embarrassment.

"Oh my god, Phil, we just can't get this right." Dan giggled, and Phil shrugged.

"I dunno. It feels about perfect for us."

"What do you mean?" Dan asked, and Phil pulled back to smile over at him.

"Well... first we fail to kiss each other at midnight and end up making out on my bed hungover the next morning, but we can't even kiss right! I think that about sums up the two of us pretty well."

"Maybe it'll be the revival of 'Reasons Why Dan's A Fail'. I can see the title now: 'I finally get a boyfriend... and eggs all over his duvet'."

Phil bit his lip and smiled at Dan, barely able to contain his excitement. And they don't have to talk about it. They don't have to have a whole conversation. They're boyfriends. Dan and Phil are boyfriends and they didn't do it in the way either of them had planned, but they smelled like eggs and tasted like morning breath and couldn't stop giggling, and Phil wouldn't have it any other way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to give you guys the obligatory new years eve drabble :)  
> ALSO: My friend Amber (some of you may know her, she's been here lately as Just+Another+Fangirl) has returned recently and just got re-accepted to A03 and is hoping for some username recommendations. Any suggestions? Thank you and happy new year!!! :)


	37. Snowball Fights

“You fucking piece of shit!” 

 

I giggle, leaping away from the mess of brown curls sprinkled with white from the snowball I’d just shoved down the back of Dan’s shirt. Finding a trash can I hide behind it, biting my lip through my smile as I watch him run in my direction, looking around to try and find me.

 

I’m forming another ball of snow from the ground around me as quietly as I can, watching as Dan bends down to create his own. He finally gets one together, and by now I already have two formed. He begins walking in my direction, though not straight towards me. 

 

He’s walking towards the back yard, looking around furiously, and I slowly edge around the trash can to stay hidden. Once he’s passed me by a few feet I jump out, throwing my snowball and ducking immediately as he shouts and his own missile shoots over my head.

 

I giggle, dashing forward with one snowball still left. His eyes go wide and he starts backing up, tripping over a bump in the ground and falling on his back in the snow. 

 

I laugh as I crawl over him, pinning him down and grinning at the pout on his lips as snow invades his warm brown curls. 

 

“Not fair!” He grumbles and I chuckle, shrugging. 

 

“Love you too!” I lean down to press a gentle kiss to his lips and they’re warm. Comforting - soft pillows of affection that are synonymous in my mind with home. I’m tempted to stay there, but I have other plans. 

 

When I feel him relax finally under me, letting go of his hands to allow them to wrap around my waist and pull me closer, I pull back suddenly, smashing my last snowball into his face. 

 

I watch as he goes still for a moment and then sighs, chuckling as it shakes his body and mine too, since I’m still sat upon him. His features are masked by a pancake of snow and he doesn’t even move to brush it off, accepting his fate. 

 

I chuckle as I help him brush it off, cupping his cheek with my hand once it’s mostly gone. 

 

“Fuck you.” He smiles up at me, and I grin back down. 

 

“Not right now.” I smirk, and this time he’s the one to sit up and bring our lips back together as we sit in the middle of a winter wonderland, cold stinging our cheeks and hands as warmth flows between our interlocking lips. 

 

Later we’ll go inside and make cocoa, cuddled up under a shared blanket with a movie on and a candle burning. It’ll be warm and cozy and sweet. But for now… now is a time for cold and excitement and play. For blood rushing through veins and giggles escaping and nullifying sarcastically biting comments that lose their edge because of the loving smiles exchanged. 

 

Now is a time for love, and so will later as we sit on the couch. And so will tomorrow as we film a video, unable to be exactly who we are, but close enough to be satisfied. And so will the next day when we fight about who has to go to the grocery store and silly financial issues. And on, and on, and on. 

 

With Dan and I, every time is a time for love. Love is ever changing. Love is always growing. Love happens in bizarre and unusual ways. 

 

And that’s what this is, right now. Having to break apart due to laughter as a snowflake lands perfectly bridging our noses, then laughing so hard we bonk them together and have to check to see if they’re bleeding, only to collapse into more laughter, rolling into the snow on our backs, looking up and catching flakes on our tongues.

 

It’s a time for love. It’s a time for us.


	38. Sperm Bank

"Dan, I swear to god, you have the strangest idea of what's a 'funny joke'." Phil grimaced as they stood in the waiting room.

"Aww, come on, it'll be hilarious!"

"Sure - anonymously donating your sperm so that one of our fans might  _birth your child_ without knowing is hilarious. Just a riot." Phil rolled his eyes and Dan shrugged, a shit-eating grin painted across his face.

"I think it's a great idea. Most of our fans are grown up now anyways, maybe I'll be doing one of them a huge favor. And they'll never know! Just you wait until some girl tweets us with 'omg my kid almost looks like Dan! look at those dimples!'." Dan began laughing so hard tears streamed down his face and Phil just looked on in wide-eyed horror, shaking his head. Had his husband gone mad?

"Dan..." He spoke slowly, hesitation written all over his features. Dan just continued to laugh until he was unable to breathe, folded over in his chair, clutching his stomach.

"You.... you..." Dan gasped, wiping away his tears. "Oh my god you should have seen your face! You really thought I was gonna do it!"

"You ass!" Phil exclaimed as the realization hit him that Dan had never been serious about this ludicrous idea, feeling a whoosh of relief leave his body. "You had me really worried for a second there!" 

"I can't believe you were gonna let me go through with that. I love you, you dumb fuck." Dan smiled fondly, and he leaned over to press his lips to Phil's, more than happy that this was something they could finally do in public after all those years of hiding.


	39. Goodbye Internet

"Now  _none_ of you can get mad at us for this. We gave you a year of warning, okay?" Dan warned, trying to keep his sarcastic grin plastered to his face and ignore the tightening in his throat and the tingling behind his eyes.

"I still feel like our announcement on New Years that 2029 would be our last year on youtube was just yesterday. Wait, now I'm not ready to say goodbye." Phil pouted, looking up at the camera.

"Well you know we won't ever be  _fully_ gone. We'll keep you updated on twitter, we have our talk show that you'll see once a week, and who knows - maybe we'll even upload the occasional video for nostalgia's sake. But for now... this is it." Dan sighed, reaching down below where the camera could see to hold onto Phil's knee, squeezing it, partially for his own reassurance and partially for Phil's. 

"So I guess it's time... goo-"

"No wait! I'm the Youtube dinosaur - I get to say it." Phil interjected and Dan sighed, looking at Phil with a warm smile, and suddenly he couldn't help the tears that filled his eyes - not spilling over, but certainly noticeable as they built up, his nose tingling as he nodded, biting his lip. 

"Goodbye, internet." Phil spoke, and you could hear the tears in his own voice that were threatening to spill over. He stood up and moved towards the camera to turn it off before shaking his head and looking back at Dan, then back at the camera. "Hold on. Just... fuck it." Phil sighed, and he turned quickly, moving back to Dan and pulling him in for one long kiss, both of them finally letting go as tears tracked down their cheeks. "I had to do that at least once - it's the right way to end it."

"Yeah." Dan breathed, the sound catching halfway in his throat. It was time for them to be done. It'd been two decades that they'd been making videos together... it was time. But no matter how much preparation they gave themselves... it was always going to be painful.


End file.
